To forget is to die
by Saltykumiki
Summary: Memories are tricky things. Story excerpt: "You can't keep doing this to me. Do you know how hard it was to believe you were dead? Do you have any idea? If you were going to do this you should have let me take the fall back then and spared me all this torment! But…despite it all I never regretted loving you. Not once." Warning: yaoi. Set in the digital world, contains violence.
1. 1 Reunion, or is it meeting?

I have returned! Cue dramatic lightning strike :3 for cereal though I am sorry for my absence. All typical author excuses apply: busy with work, uni, life etc. as well as writers block :/ so not fun. Unfortunately this is not the long promised Ishitikai sequel...it is in production I swear! I'm just not ready to publish it yet whereas this little work wouldn't let me rest until I finished it. This work is MOSTLY finished so I'll post a chapter every few days or whenever I can access a computer (surprisingly difficult in my homestead). As per description this is a yaoi, not hardcore in any sense of the word as the most action will be of the kissing variety...however if anyone thinks this should be M instead of T let me know and I will change it immediately. I always said I wanted to write a taito and I finally have (whoop!) but I will be publishing more sorato stories soon for those who were hoping for another one of those. Also the old adage of if you don't like don't read is very much in force here. If you want to flame because you think my writing style is sub-par or a scene was rubbish yadada that's fine you're entitled to your opinion and I'd love to hear it so I can improve but please don't bash yaoi or the pairing because that's just not cool. Reviews are much appreciated and treated like gold so please do comment. Enough chatter from me and on with the fic!

* * *

><p>The air was surprisingly pleasant this morning. The usual dense fog that made it impossible to go anywhere without a mask was absent for at least a further mile then it had been yesterday. The young teen expertly traversing the dense forest narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the newly revealed ground. It did not fall within his known area and that could only mean trouble…but there may be a new source of food out there. Lord knows he was tired of guck, the yellow and purple fruits that were the only thing he could eat and not throw up. They tasted like bitter watermelon, and though that was fine for a time, he had grown sick of the predictable substance. He named it guck simply because that's what it looked like on the inside, a big gucky mess that was edible but not appetizing. He stopped abruptly, both his steady movement and his current thoughts on guck, and cocked his head to the side. A few soundless moments later he heard the distinct crunch of heavy movement on the underbrush and quickly ducked behind a tree, bracing himself against it and cautiously peering around to see the source.<p>

A large dinosaur like creature was trouncing through. It had a large, black horn sticking out of its snout and several black plates along its back. Black plates covered each of its four knees and formed a protective outward curve around its head; each of the spins on this curve had two red stripes. The rest of its body was grey and it reminded the teen of a triceratops despite the fact it only had one horn. He encountered many of these creatures and knew it would move on eventually. In his boredom he had begun naming them and recognised this one as Chuck. He smiled and waited for the creatures loud noises to fade into the forest. Despite his fondness for the creatures they did not reciprocate and would try to kill him on sight; hence the reason for hiding.

The teen ruffled his thick bush-like mane of brown hair and shook his head. With a grin of determination he readjusted his goggles and checked the simple handmade supplies in his bag. He had a small knife fashioned from a stone he had found, useless in a fight but perfect for cutting through the hard stems of the guck, a small swatch of cloth containing a portion of guck in case he was gone for a long time and the strange device he always kept with him. Looking at it hurt his head a little but it also comforted him in times of stress.

He couldn't recall how many days he had been here or how he ended up in this strange place. In fact he couldn't even remember his own name. All he does remember is waking up in the cave he now calls home with a cool, colourless egg bigger than his head resting on his chest and the device grasped tightly in his hand. He knows this place isn't _home, _though he can't remember where he lives or if he has any family, but he does remember all the usual things about _home_. Things like indoor plumbing, great food including pancakes and bacon, football, school, buses…all of it. He wondered if the world had ended or something and this was what was left; it didn't seem likely as he didn't recognise any of the plant life or creatures that weren't animals.

Sighing in annoyance at the dull ache in his chest that always surfaced when he thought of those things he continued his trek into the unknown, deep brown eyes memorizing every turn and change in order to find his way back. After a short time of walking he stumbled on a small clearing. He strained his head back and stared at the oddly coloured sky with a smile. It had been some time since he had a view like this. His appreciation was interrupted as he once again tilted his head to listen to the forest. Something was coming, but it didn't sound like any of the things he'd ever heard here before. It was moving faster than anything in this forest was capable of and getting closer to the clearing. Realising it may be dangerous he quickly hid in the thick foliage and waited for whatever it was to pass. A few seconds later a large wolf-like beast broke through the forest and landed in a deep crouch in the clearing. It had smooth white fur laced with jagged blue stripes and keen, alert eyes that took in its surroundings carefully. That isn't what interested the teen though, creatures he'd seen enough of, it was the distinctly _human _rider on its back that stole the show. The person was wearing all black combat gear and an unmistakable gasmask over their face. The person slid off the wolf thing and gently stroked the creature's snout before clicking a device attached to his gasmask, which must have a communicator or something, and speaking.

"I've breached sector 17-A, no sign of target so far, beginning advanced search." He said; it was a he for sure as his voice was smooth and deep. After a few moments the person removed their mask. The teen hiding from sight felt a sharp pang ripple through his head at the sight of the person's sleek golden hair, smooth pale skin and deep, cobalt eyes. He clutched his head and grit his teeth waiting for the pain to pass still watching the blonde who was taking a wrapped parcel out of his bag.

The pain did pass but something replaced it that scared him more. He was crying, thick tears streaking down his face and making it difficult to keep quiet. Why did it hurt? Why did his chest scream out in pain by just looking at this guy? The feelings, intense and suffocating, passed away slowly and soon his usual persona returned. He wiped away the tears from his eyes in puzzlement and wondered what he should do next. That's when he realised the person in front of him was no longer relaxed. Instead he was holding an odd black gun that had a deep blue streak across it and was aiming it right at the teens hiding place.

"I know you're there. Show yourself or I'll have Garurumon deal with you." His tone was authoritative and confident, his features unreadable and cold. The teen realised running would do no good, that creature was too fast; he'd have to hope this person was friendly. Slowly, with his heart hammering in his chest, he stepped out from his hiding place and tried to look cheerful. The blonde's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open in shock, the gun slipping from his grip and landed with a clatter on the soft grass.

"Tai?" He said finally, after what felt like years. The teen's own eyes widened as the name struck him like a bolt of lightning screaming at him, telling him it was his. The blonde smiled at him, it was radiant and honest, and flew at him gathering him in an almost painful hug.

"You're alive!" He said with obvious joy. Tai didn't know how to respond. The once carefully guarded expression of the blonde had disappeared to be replaced with unbridled happiness, tears pricking the corners of his eyes threatening to fall. He pulled back and gently gripped Tai's arms keeping them close while looking at the brunette questioningly. "Where have you been? I…we all thought you were dead. What have you been doing? Where's Agumon?"

"Uh…I've been here?" Tai answered uncertainly. The blonde blinked and his eyes narrowed dangerously. "What? Why didn't you contact us? Did you not have the resources?"

"No I didn't really have anything to contact people." Tai replied lamely. The blonde pulled back and his trusting smile was replaced with a concerned frown. "Tai, where is Agumon?"

Tai shuffled from side to side feeling slightly uncomfortable at the closeness of the teen in front of him and averted his gaze from those incredible blue pools. "I…don't know what an Agumon is." He said bluntly.

The teen let him go as if he had been burned and took a few steps back. The wolf creature behind him quietly moved closer to the blonde and eyed Tai with suspicion. "You don't remember?" The wolf asked causing Tai to nearly leap out of his skin.

"It talked!" He exclaimed. The blonde bit his lip and buried his right hands fingers in the wolf's fur. "Tai…" he began, almost fearfully, before continuing in a quiet voice. "What's my name?"

The quiet clearing, which had been so peaceful at the start, breathed despair and desperation; for some reason Tai _wanted _to give the right answer, to make that pitiful, hurt, anxious look leave the blondes face. Something deep down inside him was tugging at him, begging him to _not _hurt the person in front of him for any reason. Yet the rest of him was only confused and try as he might to conjure a name for the fragile soul standing before him he could not find one. He creased his brow in confusion; nothing in the blondes expression spoke of fragility, yet that's what he knew was hiding just beneath the surface, as though he had seen it a thousand times. But there was no choice but to be honest. Tai prayed his honesty wouldn't hurt as much as his instinct told him it would.

"No…I don't."

The blonde took an involuntary gasp of air and a look of complete and utter despair flashed across his features before the cold detachment he had sported when he first arrived returned with vigour. The wolf had dropped his eyes in defeat and watched the blonde ignoring Tai altogether. Tai bit his lip and scratched the back of his head; he wished the blonde would go back to how he was before, so open and trusting. As if disapproving of his thoughts the blonde spoke. He did not meet Tai's gaze as he did so nor did he look away from the ground.

"It's Yamato. Yamato Ishida. Your name is Taichi Yagami and you are…were the leader of my group; the digidestined."

Tai paused waiting for him to continue, when he didn't Tai raised his eyebrows and smirked. "You sure?"

Yamato glared at him and his cocky air dissipated immediately. "I think I would know."

"Ah…yeah. So, if I'm your mighty leader why am I stuck in this forest of the bland?"

"I don't know. I'm sure we'll find out more once we get to base."

"Wait, we? I'm going with you?" Tai said with a perplexed look then turned his attention to the wolf. "On that?"

"_That_ is Garurumon and I'd prefer you didn't talk about him like he was some sort of object." Yamato replied flatly while stroking Garurumon's long snout. Tai held up his hands in defeat and laughed nervously.

"Okay okay, got it. I don't see why I should go with you though."

"Didn't realise you were so attached to this place."

"It isn't _that _but, well it kinda is but, uh…how am I going to make it through the fog?"

Yamato paused and sighed. He went into one of the bags hanging off Garurumon and tossed Tai another mask just like his. "Always be prepared."

"Thanks I guess…" Tai mumbled. He thought about trying to run but that look in Yamato's eyes promised he wouldn't get very far. He started to put the mask on but Yamato held up a hand to stop him.

"Before we go I want to know how you got here."

"Oh well I sorta woke up and I was here."

Yamato looked thoughtful for a moment then turned to face Tai. "Show me where."

…

The wind whisked past them in a flurry of smog and indiscernible black hazes that must have been trees or rocks. Tai kept subconsciously glancing at the bag behind him jostling with Garurumon's swift strides to keep an eye on his egg. He didn't know why he cared but he knew he couldn't lose it. He couldn't see further than a few inches in front of his face yet Garurumon was running at full pelt. He didn't understand how the wolf could do it or how Yamato didn't even feel tense. Tai's arms were wrapped securely around the blondes waist and he wasn't about to let go.

After he had shown Yamato the cave he had woke up in and gathered his things they had left his makeshift home for good. He wondered if he'd miss guck or not. He bet not. Yamato had taken several pictures of the place saying something about a guy named Koushirou being able to use them. Tai had shrugged it off and said a short goodbye to all his monochromon friends. Yamato had told him that was what they were called and that they were digimon. Garurumon was a digimon too, apparently, and there were many more besides them. He had also told him about the digital world and a few other things, but nothing about his teammates or Tai's time with them.

They came to an abrupt halt and Yamato dismounted almost as quickly once Garurumon crouched down. He turned and held his hand to Tai who took it thankfully and slid off the wolf landing on shaky feet. Yamato didn't let go of his hand as he led him to a plain looking rock-face and started working on something. Tai vaguely noticed a bright light behind them and jumped when a weird creature sidled up next to him. He couldn't see it well in the fog but knew it was too small to be Garurumon. He tugged on Yamato's arm insistently but Yamato ignored him and the rock-face split revealing a dark entrance. Yamato dragged Tai inside and the opening closed behind them. They walked in darkness until they reached another door, this time metal, and Yamato scanned his hand on the scanner opening it. Light spilled out and made Tai close his eyes against the glare. When he opened them again the metal door had closed behind them and Yamato was removing his gas mask.

The small creature that followed them in looked like a cross between a dog, lizard and unicorn. The fur on its back was similar to Garurumon but its features were entirely different. Tai gave Yamato a questioning glance and Yamato sighed. "That's Gabumon, the child-form of Garurumon."

Tai nodded pretending to understand and Yamato just turned away from him. They entered through a long corridor that opened up into a bustling room about half the size of a football stadium. There were small tents and parapets that were a dull grey/green scattered about; they were bunched together closely and the path between them was winding and hard to distinguish. People of all ages and sexes bustled around everywhere but, for the cursory look Tai had as he walked, they were all Japanese. Most of the tents looked like makeshift homes but the further they went stalls started to appear sporting food, clothes and other goods. They were not being sold but rather being given out; Tai had no idea what the criteria was to get them. As they passed most of the people waved or greeted Yamato by calling his name but he only gave them a curt nod or half-wave as a response. They also looked at Tai like they'd seen a ghost and whispering was rampant. They finally reached a parapet near the centre that dwarfed the rest of the tents and, after Yamato talked to a young man with keen eyes and dirty blonde hair, led him inside.

"What are all these people doing here?" Tai asked with interest. Yamato gave him a tired glance and pursed his lips.

"They're casualties…"

"Eh? They aren't dead."

"No, they aren't. But if they hadn't been sent here they would be."

"Sent here? From where?"

"Home."

Tai blinked at him and he shrugged. "Earth."

"Wait wait wait! We aren't on earth?"

"No. This is the digital world."

"So you're telling me I'm not even on the same planet anymore!?"

"You are. Just the other side."

"Thankyou that makes _perfect_ sense." Tai replied sarcastically. Yamato pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"Look, Izzy will explain it to you. That's Koushirou's name around here, got it?"

"Okay. Suppose I believe you and this is some sort of side…parallel…other earth whatever, who sent those people here?"

Yamato turned to him just as he stepped onto a crude elevator and narrowed his eyes. "You'll find out."

The elevator, which jostled worryingly on its ascent, opened into a room with a long table in its centre. It was obviously meant for meetings and the like. The four occupants, two girls and two boys, all stood from their seats when they stepped out of the elevator and all their eyes went wider then a kittens in the dark. Tai's head hurt just to look at them, his gaze flying from each face in quick succession, but he managed to only let the throbbing ache manifest itself as a wince. The pain passed gradually, floating away leaving him feeling confused and slightly amused at their expressions once more.

"It really is you…" One of the male teens with the broad rimmed glasses, exceptionally pale almost sickly skin and blue hair breathed.

"When you said you had found Tai I honestly thought you were joking." One of the girls who had brown honey hair that cascaded down her back and mischievous honey eyes said with barely hidden emotion.

The other boy, who had short, slightly spiked red hair and inquisitive, analysing onyx eyes said nothing; only his grip on the table tightened. The remaining girl, with orange hair boarding on blonde or red in sections and fiery red/orange eyes walked around the table toward them never taking her eyes off Tai's face. She approached him slowly like she was afraid he'd disappear and tentatively placed her hand on his cheek.

"I can't believe it." She said softly, her fingers tracing his skin making him feel a little uncomfortable but mostly astonished. She gently removed her hand when she noticed his perplexed expression and held it against her chest. Tai waited for one of them to speak but none did, all staring at him as though he'd just walked through a compactor and come out whole. He hid his nervousness by plastering a wide grin on his face and put his hands on his hips.

"So…do I know you guys?"

* * *

><p>"Let me get this straight. You, me, everyone here and two others that aren't here are the digidestined and each have a 'digimon'. This is the digital world and we are stuck here because of this Myotismon thing and Yukio Oikawa, head of DWECO, or digital world to earth communication organisation. Am I right so far?" Tai queried.<p>

"That's right." Sora encouraged with a smile.

"Okay. Then this Yukio guy is responsible for all these people, and us, being trapped here. This involves the head honcho Myotismon somehow too…and I used to be your guys leader until I…died?" Tai said unsurely.

Koushirou nodded his head and leaned forward. "You saved us all. If it wasn't for you all those people out there would be dead and earth would be a wasteland."

"I'm a hero? Well at least that's good news." Tai joked. "Want to explain what happened?"

Koushirou closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Tai knew all their names now. Mimi, the girl with honey brown hair, hid her face with her bangs and bit her lip. Joe, the blunette, looked downcast and fiddled with his watch. Sora, the girl with red eyes that bled with sadness right now, placed a comforting hand on Tai's shoulder. And Yamato, who hadn't bothered to sit down and was staring at him from his position leaning against the wall opposite, turned his head with an angry 'tch' and tightened his grip on his folded arms. Koushirou began speaking in an informative, cut off voice and his gaze never left the table.

"It began after we defeated the dark masters. We thought it would fix the distortions, and it did…for the most part. We made two mistakes; the first was believing we'd gotten rid of Myotismon for good and the second was agreeing to grant DWECO access to the digital world. DWECO seemed to legitimately want to create good relations between digimon and humans so we let them in, and they did, at least the majority of their staff. It was their leader we should have been cautious of. They needed us to create the portals using our digivices so they could maintain relations with digimon. No-one else had that power…and that is what Yukio wanted. No, when I look back on it he wanted, and still wants, far more than just that. When we wouldn't hand over our digivices for testing they went to the digital world to find their own method. That's when they found the core."

"Core?" Tai interjected. Koushirou nodded and started typing on his laptop.

"At the time we defeated Myotismon we knew little to nothing about digimon composition, especially the rare vampire type that Myotismon is. Just like with human vampire folklore vampires in the digital world are difficult to kill. When we eliminated Myotismon his data dissipated into our, earths, atmosphere and re-entered the digital world through the distortion rifts. This data, unbeknownst to use, reformed in what remained of Myotismons castle as an egg. Unlike other digimon this egg is small, blood red and slightly jagged."

"How do you know that if you didn't know it existed?" Tai asked.

"Because I saw it. We all did…when you died."

"Can you stop saying that? I'm alive!"

"I-I'm sorry." Koushirou said quickly. Regaining his composure he continued. "Myotismon's egg was found by DWECO but they had no way to revive it. From what I understand from the team's encounters with Yukio Myotismon could communicate with him in his egg form and instructed him on what to do." When Koushirou said encounters his eyes briefly flitted to Yamato, an action Tai noticed, before refocusing on his laptop. "DWECO started capturing digimon and Yukio, unbeknownst to his team, fed their energy to the egg; but it wasn't enough. From what I understand Yukio fed his whole team to the egg but even that didn't meet the energy requirements. They needed more so, with the aid of Myotismon and his minions, Yukio repaired Myotismon's portal into this world. He took the egg through and ended up in Odaiba, specifically Odaiba mansion, and that's where these people are from. All the people from there and several areas close-by were used to awaken Myotismon. Just like before they went into a comatose, hypnotic state and their energy was fed into Myotismon. We found out and made our way there just in time to witness Myotismon's revival. Only this time since he had less power supplies the people he used were dying, just like Yukio's team had."

"How did we save them?"

"_We_ didn't. Hikari and T.K. did." As soon as Tai heard the name Hikari a sharp, twisting ache full of uncontrollable emotion rocked through him. He doubled over and held his head in his hands. He felt Sora's comforting arms around him and heard the others speaking. He shook his head when the pain finally alleviated and smiled up at them. "I'm fine, really. It happens sometimes."

"What does?" Joe asked with all the air of a doctor. Tai sighed and rubbed his temple. "Look I'll fill you in later, just finish okay? I'm tired of being in the dark."

The others hesitated and shared worried glances. It was Izzy who broke the silence. "You sure?"

"Positive!" Tai replied cheerfully as all the pain was gone. Izzy eyed him suspiciously but continued.

"Hikari and T.K. used everything they had to send us, the people, Yukio and Myotismon here, to the digital world. Their crests work differently from ours…I don't know how they did it. I'm still trying to get an answer. Once we were here Hikari and T.K. gave their remaining energy to restore the people's vitality and prevent them from dying…but used themselves up in the process. Thanks to Patamon and Gatomon they didn't die but they are in permanent comatose states. The only way to wake them up is to find the core and give its energy back to the people."

Tai noticed Yamato's shoulders slump in defeat and, for an instant, their eyes met and Tai could see the unspoken pain the blonde was hiding. Izzy, who hadn't spotted the exchange, carried on regardless. "Myotismon was reborn, but he needed time to assimilate the energy he had accumulated. Yukio went back to Myotismon's castle with the weakened Myotismon to hide and wait. We couldn't let Myotismon finish assimilating the energy. We had to do _something_ but our options were limited and we had all these confused, scared and on occasion hysterical people to deal with. You really shone in those days, you and Yamato both, getting the adults to listen to you and finding this place..."

"You were the one to convince them. Tai just made them _trust_ us." Yamato added kindly. Izzy gave him a half-hearted smile and shook his head.

"It's not important now. This place was indispensable in keeping people alive. You see, only we have digimon, all the others have no means of defence. We were desperate to go finish Myotismon but we couldn't leave all these people here, defenceless and without supplies. So I made a few rough calculations and estimated we had about eight months before Myotismon was fully restored. In that time we made this place inhabitable, learned where the clean sources of water were and how to forage for food. Unfortunately Myotismon's revival had an unexpected consequence, the poisonous fog. It doesn't affect digimon but any human who consumes it will have their energy sent to Myotismon. A few of the people who were taken had mechanical knowledge so I worked with them to develop gas masks from the supplies Andromon brought us as well as…weapons. They only stun and have limited power reserves but we had to make them, us six couldn't gather enough food for everyone and we needed them to be self-sufficient for when we left. Sometimes I wonder if I should have brought such a thing into this world. This all took far longer than anticipated and we ended up leaving a few days late. Little did we know those few days would cost us dearly. We fought our way to Myotismon through hordes of his minions and finally broke through. But we were too late. Myotismon had finished absorbing all the energy and digivolved into VenomMyotismon only he was slightly different from last time. He was smaller, retaining his features from VenomMyotismon but only about the same size as his prior form. At first I thought that meant he was weaker, unfortunately this form was called DeiMyotismon and was far more powerful than his previous forms. Add to that the fact that we were down two members and you can imagine how well it went. We were losing, badly, and our digimon were spent. It was all happening so fast I couldn't keep track of everyone's injuries. You and Yamato used the last of your energy to digivolve Wargreymon and MetalGarurumon into Omnimon. He managed to weaken DeiMyotismon and cut his chest open revealing the egg fused inside him but DeiMyotismon subdued him and Omnimon devolved into Koromon and Tsunomon. It looked like we were doomed; we had come so far for it to end there. DeiMyotismon was on his knees and the skin over the slash across his chest was healing…that's when you did something reckless."

Izzy paused and it looked like he couldn't continue, his shoulders tense and features remorseful. Sora gave him an encouraging smile and gently turned Tai's head to face her. "You ripped out the egg. We were all screaming at you, begging you to stop, but you just jumped head first into the fray like you always do. Your crest _glowed_ so brightly as you pulled. Our screams were lost in DeiMyotismons roars and suddenly you and he both were swallowed in this deep red light. It was so dark and thick, like blood, and we all thought you had…" Sora took a deep breath before soldiering on. "It rained on us. Thick and red and…when it cleared you were gone and DeiMyotismon was frozen, his face a picture of horror and the egg missing from the gash in his chest. We had no choice but to escape after that. The place was overrun with DeiMyotismon's minions who were following Yukio's every order and we were spent from the fight. We had won the fight but as long as Yukio is around the war isn't over."

Tai silently digested all of the information he had just been given. Slowly, like piecing together a particularly difficult puzzle, he spoke. "So you guys thought I exploded?"

They all flinched. The looks of despair and anguish drifting across their faces and he swallowed hard. He tried to imagine having someone he cared about, someone he looked up to, exploding before his eyes and literally coating him with their blood. He shuddered and felt upset _for_ them. He smiled broadly to cover the tension and held Sora's shoulders. "But it wasn't me. You thought it was, but it wasn't. I promise it wasn't."

The shock on her face melting into a sad smile and tears pricked the corners of her eyes. "Yes. Yes…you're right."

"Izzy! I brought the equipment you wanted!" Tai just gaped at the weird beetle thing that had come buzzing in from the window and sighed.

"Just what I need, more names to memorize." He joked.


	2. 2 Slowly but surely

Here's chapter 2! I forgot to mention last time but if you decided to read the last chapter you'll have realized this is an alternative future from digimon 02. It won't be a very long story so it may be a bit fast paced but I had a lot of fun writing it and hope people have fun reading it. memories are in written _like so _and are from first person point of view. Tai gets a bit more artsy with his thoughts but I like to imagine he is a lot more eloquent in his head haha. Thanks for reviewing!

* * *

><p>Tai sat motionless and stared down at the young girl with brown hair that he shouldn't know or care about but that hurt his chest so damn much to see like this. When he entered the room and saw her his head exploded with pain and even though it passed the ache in his chest wouldn't shift. Just like when Yamato had looked so hurt or when Sora had been on the brink of crying. It <em>ached<em>, something deep and brooding that tugged at him despite their being no reaction in his rational mind. He was knocked out of his thoughts when Yamato put his hand on his shoulder and gently nudged him.

"I have to go." He said stoically, his eyes still lingering on the young boy with dirty blonde hair lying on the makeshift bed next to the young girls.

"They've been like this for how long?" Tai asked quietly ignoring Yamato's words.

"…over a year now. It was T.K's birthday last week." Yamato answered in a quiet, exhausted whisper. The ache in Tai's chest doubled at the sound and, before his mind could catch up, he gently stood and wrapped his arms around the blonde. Yamato stiffened and let out a harsh breath that barely hid his obvious need to cry.

"How long was I gone?" Tai asked softly, the majority of his mind remaining neutral but a part buried deep, so deep, buzzed and called out to him. The ache in his chest doubling almost painfully at the light tremor that rippled through Yamato's body.

"Four months." Yamato answered flatly, brokenly. Tai pulled back and stared into the blondes deep, cobalt pools that seemed to go on and on. He could tell Yamato was holding something back but was practically begging someone to make him tell. His face was so hurt, his eyes brimming with so much emotion Tai was sure he'd cry, but the tears never fell. He wondered if the blonde _ever_ let them fall. His rational mind started to hurt, a sharp pain that shot through his temple, but it didn't show on his face because the buried part, buried so deep, was pulsing through him. His mind doesn't remember but his body does. He feels heat, warmth, fire tingling his fingertips and shooting through his veins so boiling and _insistent_ that when his hand traces the pale skin of Yamato's cheekbone and he hears the blondes breathing hitch he leans forward and closes the distance between their lips so slowly it hurts.

"Tai? Are you down here?" Sora's voice floated down toward them and Tai realized what he was doing. With wide eyes he pulled away and took a step back from Yamato who _almost_ reached for him and _almost_ spoke but didn't instead holding his arm defensively and staring at the floor. Tai blinked and whatever had taken over him fled leaving him feeling detached…normal. But it isn't normal and part of him knows but won't admit it to the rest of him. Sora came in closely followed by the same young man who had Tai had seen speaking to Yamato earlier. Tai realized the young man's hair was even darker than he had noticed before, boarding on brown. Tai blinked in surprise when the young man's dark brown eyes narrowed as if he were scrutinizing him. Besides feeling a little annoyed at the suspicious look Tai also felt slightly drawn to those eyes. They were…familiar. Tai blinked in surprise as he realized they were the same colour as his own, not similar, the same. Everything else about him was different: his hair was sleek and short, he was a good few inches taller and thinner though not skinny. Handsome, but with an air of sophistication Tai lacked.

Sora looked between the Tai and Yamato sympathetically, it was obvious to Tai she thought they were concerned over the two children in the beds, and strode over to him. "There you are. Joe wants to check you over to make sure you're okay, maybe find out why you can't remember anything."

Tai mentally shook himself and decided to ignore the young man. Something about the way he was looking at him rubbed Tai the wrong way. So instead Tai beamed at Sora and hooked his arm in hers. "As long as there aren't any needles involved!"

"There might be a few." Sora joked with a smile. She turned to Yamato as she and Tai were halfway out the door. "You coming?"

"No." He answered sharply and Tai winced. He felt the young man's piercing gaze intensify as he glanced between him and Yamato.

"Alright but you should get checked up soon, you spend too much time out on the field." Sora replied with obvious concern. Tai heard Yamato sigh lightly and when he answered his voice was much softer.

"I will, thanks."

Sora nodded and started dragging Tai through the door. Tai dared to look back just as he was turning the corner and saw the young man had gotten closer to Yamato, presumably to speak with him. Tai frowned and tried to ignore that damn pull telling him to go back.

* * *

><p>"There don't seem to be any problems with you physically and we don't really have the equipment for an MRI or CT scan. From what I can diagnose you're fine." Joe said briskly after what felt like years to Tai. They had tested him for everything they could. You'd think it wouldn't be much with what they had but no; it had taken ages. Tai whistled happily and put on the black vest they had given him to replace his well-used shirt.<p>

"We wanted to do something about that weird growth coming out the top of your head but no luck." Gomamon joked. Tai tilted his head at the digimon and Joe blanched.

"That's his hair!" Joe exclaimed in exasperation. Gomamon smiled and lifted his fin. "I knew that!"

They continued to play argue and Tai eventually lost interest as other things were weighing on his mind. He fiddled with the zippers on his newly given tan shorts and glanced over at Sora.

"Say Sora…were Yamato and I close?"

Sora looked at him quizzically before smiling that radiant smile of hers. "Yeah, you were like brothers."

"Brothers? Nothing…more?"

This time she raised an eyebrow at him then furrowed her brow. "No, no you were best friends. You are best friends." She corrected, the smile returning to her face. "You used to be at each other's throats over every little thing but after our adventures you became best friends. In spite of all the difficulties we faced here you guys seemed closer than ever."

Tai nodded slowly and pinched his chin with his finger and thumb. Sora's smile faltered and her eyes grew dark. "I don't know which of us suffered more from your…disappearance. I was, am your childhood friend and missed you intensely so kinda...shut down for a while...but Yamato he, he had a different approach."

He waited hoping she would elaborate but instead her soft smile returned and she took his hands in hers. "That doesn't matter anymore, it is in the past now, you're back and that's all that's important."

He wanted to ask her more but sensed he shouldn't. The way she held his hands, trying not to hold too tightly but refusing to let go, worried him. "Where is Yamato anyway?" He asked.

"He's getting ready to head out~" Mimi chimed materializing in the doorway laden with medical supplies. Palmon and Biyomon followed steadily after her each carrying blankets. Biyomon flitted over to Sora's side and rubbed her beak against the girls thigh happily.

"Out? Where?" Tai said interrupting Sora and Biyomon's cheerful conversation about how nice the sheets were.

"To look for the egg." Sora replied with none of her previous cheer.

"I thought I destroyed it." Tai said, confusion evident in his voice.

"That's what we thought at the time but it turns out it wasn't destroyed only moved. It is hidden somewhere in the digital world and we have to find it before Yukio does." Joe answered. "Yamato is taking Izzy to the place he found you. We figure if you were there it can't be far behind."

"Sounds good; I'm in!" Tai declared with his unbridled confidence.

"But you just got back!" Mimi squeaked before the others had a chance to point out the same thing.

"Well it isn't like I'm being a massive help hanging out here. I know the ins and outs of guckland!"

"Guckland?" Biyomon said incredulously while casting Sora a curious glance.

"Well it's...the place where Tai woke up." Sora replied helpfully. The two shared a comfortable smile when a small, blinking red light started buzzing in the ceiling and Sora's face fell.

"That can't be good." Tai said flatly. The others started scrambling to the door; he followed and Sora talked to him without looking back at him. "It isn't. It means an unknown, most likely an enemy, is approaching base."

They exited the medical area and went to the entrance of the commander station, the center of base operations, to find Yamato, Izzy and that young man already waiting.

"I'm going to check it-" before Yamato could finish the entire base rocked. The walls shook and small sections of dust poured down from the ceiling. Yamato's eyes widened and the others looked frightened and desperate. "They know we are here." Yamato said tensely.

He turned to the others and Tai admired how sure and collected he appeared. "Izzy, I want you and Mimi to get everybody through the emergency exit. Tell them to take only what the absolutely have to; we want to save lives here, not possessions. Joe I want you and Hideki to take your team and get T.K., Hikari and their digieggs out of here safely. I trust them to you, take Tai as well. Sora you'll be the last line of defense, stay by the exit and don't let any enemies through. Leave and seal the exit when all the civilians are out, got it?"

The look of fear left the team to be replaced with determination and they all nodded once.

"What about you?" The young man, Hideki, asked seriously.

"I'll hold them at bay and try to stall for time."

"What?! Alone?" It was Tai who spoke up and he felt them staring at him. Why did he speak up?

"I don't plan to stay out there long. I'll escape using a different route. Garurumon's speed in this fog can't be matched." Yamato said coolly but with a softness that made Tai's heart pound. The others looked concerned but Yamato gave them a harsh, icy glare. "Move it! I shouldn't have to tell you that time is important here."

Izzy and Mimi moved out first with Sora trailing behind her gaze lingering on Yamato.

"Someone should go with you." Hideki said.

"I've made my decision." Yamato curtly replied.

"But-"

"You're wasting time." Yamato countered before Hideki could finish. Hideki frowned and, without another word, stomped toward the base.

Gabumon digivolved into Garurumon and crouched so Yamato could get on, on reflex Tai grabbed Yamato's arm when he turned away from him. Yamato turned back and smiled, it was barely there, like a whisper but it made Tai fearful. Yamato gently pried Tai's hand off, his delicate fingers lingering on Tai's for a moment and then he was gone, riding Garurumon past the throngs of panicking people.

Joe was insistently tugging on his arm but he refused to budge. "Tai we have to go!"

"You go! Take care of Hikari and T.K.! He trusted them to you and so do I." Tai commanded. Joe looked taken aback and Tai realized he was acting like a leader. It felt right, like it had always been there, the ability to lead bleeding from his pores. He smiled at the obviously worried Joe. "I'll be fine, trust me."

Joe released him reluctantly, he grinned and turned to run but Joe grabbed his wrist in an almost painful grip and glared at him with determination. "Don't die. This team can't handle it again."

"I won't. I swear it." Tai said strongly. Joe nodded and let him go. He took off in the direction he'd seen Yamato go; the walls of the cavern shook and Tai watched in awe as the metal doors they'd entered through rocketed through the air. He ignored the screaming and the increasing amount of bodies going in the opposite direction pushing against him desperately trying to get to the exit. He kept pushing knowing but not understanding that he had to do this. Eventually he broke through and kept going, weaving through broken tents people had knocked down in their haste. He glanced up and saw demons with black wings and red claws flying in the air and giant spider creatures crawling along the walls. The fear he felt paled compared to the worry he had for the blonde and he moved forward. He could hear the sounds of fighting; a wolfs howl occasionally punctuated the screeches of battle.

He started to run. The walls looked black with the sheer amount of creatures swarming over them. Adrenaline pumped fast and furious pushing him forward. It didn't feel fast enough. Faster, faster he had to go faster. He finally saw a metal wolf breathing freezing streams of blue at the enclosing enemies. He got closer and started to hear voices over the din of roars and screams.

"Why are you still fighting? Haven't we been through this dear boy? You're doomed if you stand against him. You know it, I can see, you're too smart to delude yourself with impossibilities. You may be with people now but you are not truly part of them, are you? Come with me Yamato." The voice was deep and oddly convincing but his words made Tai's blood boil and he didn't know why.

"You're right. We have been through this. I'm never going to see things your way." That was Yamato, cool and calm as always, but it sounded a little strained. Tai picked up his pace and passed the last hurdle of tents. He saw a man with lank blue/black hair and vacant eyes staring down at Yamato who was crouching behind a rock with his gun armed and ready. The metal wolf was keeping the digimon at bay but he was tiring and there were so many.

Yamato's name was on Tai's lips when the blonde sprang from his hiding place and shot at the man Tai assumed was Yukio. All three of the paralyzing shots connected and Yukio slumped to his knees. Tai watched the man actually smile and shake his head.

"You've made your choice."

It happened so quickly. Two of the demons descended and struck out at Yamato. He jumped away from the first but the second caught him with its claws that were so sharp. Tai heard Yamato cry in pain as he was flung toward him and Tai's feet moved without him telling them to. He caught the falling blonde and they skidded across the ground before rolling to a stop. Tai heard the wolf's anguished howls and felt him land nearby with detachment. He carefully rolled the blonde over and gasped at the torn fabric and thick layers of red, so much red, against pale skin. The jagged wounds bled and the blonde's eyes were closed his features contorting in pain. That insistent buzzing in Tai's mind turned into a roar and the ache burned like he was being ripped apart over and over again.

"You're alive?" He heard the man say distantly but he couldn't respond. His head was pounding, painful and suffocating, drowning him. It was wrong, that thick blood against pale skin, his heart tore at him screaming for him to do something. Emotions so strong they were blinding rocked him and his head flew back, a word, a _name_, he didn't remember he knew spilled from his lips as bright red energy swallowed them both.

"Yama!"

* * *

><p><em>He came to me. In the dead of night stealing past sleeping people and digimon alike. His hands found mine and heat and want and need pulsed from his fingertips lighting my skin on fire. Desperate, pulling need amidst cool crisp sheets and heavy breathing. He looked at me, showing all he'd been hiding from everyone for so long and I let myself be caught up in his intoxication.<em>

_It was always there hanging between us like a thin curtain I could never press my fingers past. He'd look at me and I'd know we both wanted it but neither would let our self-imposed barriers crumble. The pain we shared, the loss that wasn't true loss but might as well have been for how much it hurt of our siblings, the hidden admiration we had for each other that slowly seeped out each day. Something had to breach the ache, the drowning sensation of loss. I was always smiling, always pushing the pain deep down so no one could see, but he saw. Saw through my grins and playful actions. Saw and felt and understood._

_When he came I was waiting. I'd always been waiting, listening for soft footsteps or that deep, piercing voice to wash over me. I knew before he did, felt this desire that left me falling, falling down to unknown depths and this need that twisted my gut and made my heart burn. Always imagining what it would be like to bury my fingers in those threads of gold, feel smooth porcelain skin against mine, part those soft lips and make him reveal all his secrets. But I was afraid he'd hate me, afraid he'd turn his back on me and shut me out._

_So I silently left it to him and he decided. He came to me and I did all the things I'd wanted and needed to do all that time. He'd whispered my name and I held him, listening to the soft blending of our heartbeats and memorizing his scent, anything and everything that was __**him**__._

_Because we were both missing something all this time._

_He'd never mention it the next day, never look at me differently or let the others know, and neither did I. For him it was only the desire and need to be touched and feel whole that drove us together, for me it was and always had been more than that. I don't know when it started to change, when those night-time visits that disappeared into the ether like insubstantial dreams started bleeding into our daily lives. His hand lightly brushing against mine, our gazes meeting and locking during briefings, a long and lingering kiss hidden in the hallway that breathed promises and longing. Slowly he started to open up to me, to lay his fragility, sadness and loneliness out and let me try to heal it._

_The first time I told him I loved him he ran._

_I had to search for him. Tumbling past the throngs chasing shadows, searching, longing, it all made my chest so unbearably tight. When I finally found him in that quiet untainted forest he was speaking in his low, smothering tones to a man I recognized and the suffocating ache turned to piercing rage. Not him, don't listen to him, stop turning away from me. I'd moved so fast. Stepping between them and punching that asshole in his smug face, taking Yamato's hand and pulling him away from that place that threatened __**everything**__. But I didn't care about the rest of them in that moment. Only we mattered. I had to make him see. If I didn't I'd lose him forever, I would not stand idly by allowing his doubts to destroy what we had._

_Danger was close. Pressing in from our enemies and from us, from our crushing emotions and indecision, our inability to do what we __**had**__ to do because all we cared about in that painfully beautiful moment was each other. I pushed his back against one of the abnormally large trees in that place and blocked off his escape forcing him to look at me and __**see**__ me. He still tried to run and I got mad, yelling and screaming, pouring out all the thoughts that had plagued me for so long and I'd worked so hard to keep hidden. He'd listened, the fear emanating from him was palpable, and it took all my self-restraint to wait and let him finally tell me what I could see. He was afraid, afraid of loving me, afraid of __**losing**__ me, afraid that his feelings would end up destroying what little he had left of himself in his hollow chest._

_So I made a promise._

_I swore I'd stay with him. I could see he didn't want to believe me but a part, so small and hidden, did and when I finally pressed my aching lips against his I felt him give in. I told him he hadn't lost anything. He was trying so hard to seem detached, to have given up on himself and the future, but I saw through all that. He cared and he believed. He wanted me, I wanted him, and we both __**needed**__ each other. I seared the memory of him into my mind, my body, and became scared of how desperate I was to monopolize him. Within the fire of primal desires and my increasing refusal to listen to my rational mind I finally managed to coax those simple words out of him and confirmed his love for me. I sunk into his eyes, my hands burned against his flesh so incredibly hot I thought I'd die, his heart beating so loud it roared in my ears and his shivering form begging me to love him made me forget all others. I wished we could stay in that clearing and get lost again and again._

_But we both had work to do. When he shyly took my hand in his and insisted we return I obeyed and wondered if I'd be able to refuse him anything._

_Perfection threatened to consume me. Despite all the difficulties we faced in this world and our conviction to awaken our siblings I couldn't help but be happy and feel guilty all at the same time. Each new day I learned more about him, saw sides of him I didn't know existed, and fought to contain myself around him. Sometimes it was harder than others and, when I'd start losing focus during an important meeting or briefing; he'd take me out and kiss me to 'tide me over'. There was something urgent and mirthful about that; it usually had the opposite effect on me and we'd miss the meeting altogether. Keeping it a secret got more difficult but I didn't care. He was the one who wanted it to stay secret. I wanted to scream it from the tent tops. We were so inescapably happy that it couldn't possibly last._

_And it didn't._

_He'd asked me to be careful when we moved out in that shy and impossibly cute way of his. I'd heard but hadn't listened. The fierce heat of battle hurt my lungs and made it hard to see. We fought for so long, too long, and every part of me pulsed with pain. It wasn't until Omnimon fell that I realized this was it. That we'd all die here. I looked at him and all the worry and fear I had for myself dissipated into nothing. I wanted to protect him even if he didn't want it for himself. He was afraid but accepting and I hated it. He couldn't die. It was my own selfishness that demanded he stay alive. Even if he didn't want to, I wouldn't let him go._

_I saw my chance and took it._

_They were all screaming at me but I only heard his voice and focused on it. It gave me courage, more then I'd ever be able to muster on my own, and I wished for his happiness. I pleaded with him in my mind. Please be happy, please don't give up, please believe in yourself, please please please._

_Don't forget me._

Tai woke with a start and grasped his head to try and quell the stinging pain rattling through his temple. He was crying again and the air came into his lungs in quick, sharp breaths that made him feel like fainting. The dream, the _memories,_ that were so excruciatingly vivid moments before became fragmented from the pain. Only small portions remained but they were enough to confirm what his heart had been begging him to remember since he first saw the blonde. Thinking of Yamato made him recall the fight and he quickly looked up in alarm. It took him a second to realize he was back in his cave, the one he'd been living in for what felt like forever. Ignoring the oddness of that fact he scanned the room and saw Yamato lying on what used to be his makeshift bed; soft grass and leaves. Tai bolted over to him so fast he tripped and landed on his hands and knees beside the blonde. Scuttling over he glanced fervently over the blondes body and was surprised to see a thick, green paste covering the still open wounds. The strange stuff had stunted the bleeding but it was obvious Yamato needed stitches.

The blondes face was contorted in apparent pain, his cheeks flushed and brow furrowed, and Tai gently felt his forehead; he was burning up. Tai soothingly brushed the thick bangs and stray, sweat soaked hair away from the blonde's forehead and clenched his other fist angrily. He knew Yamato needed help, _hours ago,_ and he had no idea how to get it.

"Good, you're awake. We need to get Yamato some help!" Tai blinked at Gabumon who hastily entered while voicing Tai's own thoughts.

"Did you do this?" Tai asked quietly while gesturing to the paste. He couldn't seem to think of anything better to say. His memories were blurry at best but his chest was constricting painfully. Gabumon nodded hurriedly and put down the logs he had been carrying.

"Yes. Joe taught me a few things in-case something like this happened. But they will only fight infection; they won't close the wounds or fully stop the bleeding. I want to take him to the emergency base but…in the state he is in Yamato would…and the fog…" Gabumon trailed while tempting to hide his worry and fear.

"Then bring them here." Tai said firmly, the leader in him shining again. Gabumon looked at him with determination but also a hint of…distrust? The wolf like digimon hadn't really spoken to him since they found him in the forest but Tai had felt the digimon's eyes on him whenever he spoke or was near Yamato. He met Gabumon's steady gaze and furrowed his brow. "Go. I'll take care of him. I won't let him die, I swear it."

The wolf like digimon's animosity dissolved slightly and his eyes grew sad. He glanced at Yamato and then back to Tai before he spoke. "You make a lot of promises…but you don't tend to keep them."

Tai's eyes narrowed and his jaw set in a firm line. The echo in his heart pulled relentlessly and part of it told him the wolf was right, exceptionally right, and even now the unintentional backlash from his decisions was hurting Yamato. He downcast his stare and shifted so he was sitting on his knees. Bowing his head he clenched his fists on his thighs and bent low. "I'm sorry. I don't really get all the things I did or didn't do but I am sorry because I know I did something stupid. I can't make up for stuff I failed with in the past; I can only try my best with the present. Right now Yamato needs help and you are the only one who can get it. I won't let you down."

Gabumon sighed and, when Tai looked up, smiled at the teen. "I'll leave him to you."

Tai grinned back in genuine relief as the wolf digimon turned and lit the firewood he had brought. With one last sorrowful look at Yamato he exited the cave. Shortly after Tai saw a faint light and assumed Gabumon had managed to digivolve. He heard the wolf take off and then the quiet returned only to be punctuated with Yamato's laboured breathing. He moved closer to the blonde and watched the steady, if a bit rattled, rise and fall of his chest. He kept his tireless visual for a few hours with no change, then Yamato's brow furrowed and he groaned. Tai shook whatever sleep had been threatening to fall and bent over to look at the blonde's face. Those incredible blue pools fluttered open and his head shook then drooped forward a small amount.

"Ta…Tai?" Yamato said, his usual smooth and collected tone a shadow of its former glory.

"Yeah." Tai reassured eventually. His voice was hard to find. Yamato blinked, a look of confusion flashing over his face, and tried to move but Tai put a firm hand on his shoulder keeping him down.

"Don't try to move. You're hurt pretty bad."

"How?"

"One of those demon digimon thingies hit you."

"And…you?"

"I kinda sorta…chased after you I guess. Before you ask I don't have a clue how we got here." Tai pre-empted trying to keep the injured blonde from speaking more than he had to.

Yamato nodded and closed his eyes taking a few shattering breaths through clenched teeth. "Ga…bumo…"

"Gone to get help." Tai answered quickly. Yamato tilted his head to show he understood and a light tremor ran through his body. He looked up at Tai and that raw trust, longing and desperation broke through his defenses stirring the ache in Tai's chest into a frenzy. Without fully comprehending his actions Tai closed the distance between them and let their lips meet in a soft, caring kiss. It wasn't full of passion or lust; it was a simple, treasuring motion that was meant to comfort them both. Tai pulled back and wiped the tears in the corner of Yamato's eye with his thumb.

"I'm sorry. I'm…so sorry Yama." Tai's voice cracked towards the end of his sentence and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Yamato looked surprised by his use of the nickname and smiled weakly.

"You…remember?"

Tai shook his head and pushed down the tears he'd been close to shedding. "Not everything, not yet, but I think it's coming back."

Yamato smiled and shut his eyes. Tai kept his hand on Yamato's far too pale, almost ghost like in translucency cheek and bit his lip. Yamato shook again and this time the light tremors wouldn't stop. Tai watched him with alarm and cautiously squeezed his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"I'm cold…" Yamato managed between harsh breaths. Tai, in a near panic, glanced around the cave; the fire was still going strong and there wasn't any fuel to make it bigger. Thinking on his feet he moved to Yamato's uninjured side and lay down draping his arm over half Yamato's chest. Being so close to him made the ache burn and the sharp sting in Tai's mind heighten. But it was overrun by the intense pooling sense of dread flowing through him.

"Just rest and try not to move." Tai said with a hint of desperation. Yamato smiled and turned to press his forehead against Tai's.

"Alright. I'll let you be the boss for once." Some of Yamato's old strength invigorated that statement and Tai grinned though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Thanks."


	3. 3 No true offender

Ugh I feel bad, late to update and the chapter is shorter than usual. Unfortunately that is the way the cookie crumbles and I can only apologize. A massive thanks to my reviewers, on with the fic!

* * *

><p>Loud, urgent voices coming from close by roused Tai from his unintended slumber. He blinked drowsily not quite realizing where he was until he flexed his fingers and felt the rough fabric of Yamato's shirt. His drowsiness quickly turned to alarm and he shot up to look out the cave entrance. Three masked individuals ran in, from their hair color he recognized them as Joe, Izzy and Hideki and the nervous, giddy tension from the fight he may have fought bled out of him. Joe tore off his mask and threw it to the ground, his hands already flying to the large duffel bag he was carrying.<p>

"How is he?" Joe demanded. Tai's momentary surprise at Joe's focus vanished; turning back to Yamato ice ran through him and settled in his stomach. Yamato was pale, too pale.

He wasn't breathing.

Panic, blinding and suffocating, sucked the air from Tai's lungs. Even as he pressed his head against Yamato's chest hoping to hear the steady rhythm he couldn't quite breathe. His vision swam and all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, nothing from Yamato. He couldn't think, couldn't move, frozen by unbridled panic he didn't realize he could ever feel. Someone tried to pull him away but he refused to budge. Not until he got a sign of life from the blonde. Suddenly a sharp blow hit his cheek and it was enough to shock him into pulling away from Yamato. He glared blearily at Joe whose hand was poised to strike again.

"Don't become a patient, he needs me more! Move aside and let me do my job." Joe declared in the steady tones of a doctor. He shoved Tai to the side and began compressing Yamato's chest.

Tai watched, detached from reality, going numb. He focused on Yamato's face and heard without actually hearing Izzy and Gabumon asking him questions. That is until Yamato coughed, his back arching, and finally started breathing again. The world came back and Tai scrambled over to check on Yamato while Joe began cutting open Yamato's shirt and peeling off the healing pumice. Yamato's eyes were glazed over and drifting around aimlessly. Tai felt the blonde's forehead and frowned at the unnatural heat. He was so focused on Yamato he didn't notice when Hideki knelt down beside Yamato and gingerly brushed the tips of his fingers against Yamato's cheek.

Joe had already administered local anesthetic to the injured area and was beginning to suture the wounds. Tai took Yamato's hand in both of his and held it against his forehead. He concentrated on steadying his breathing to calm himself down and begged the universe to let Yamato get through this. It took hours and the tension threatened to consume him, that familiar stabbing pain becoming more stifling as he forced himself to remember. It hurt but each fleeting memory getting a little clearer made it worth it; however try as he might he couldn't get past a certain point. The pain would become too much. But he refused to stop trying; he had to remember. Remember, remember, remember, _remember!_

"Tai? Are you listening?"

Tai snapped out of his trance and wearily focused on Joe who sighed. "I've done all I can. He should be in the clear if he makes it through tonight."

"If?"

"I can't give any guarantees but this is Yamato we're talking about. He can be just as stubborn as you sometimes, I'm sure he'll pull through."

Joe gave Tai a reassuring smile and gripped his shoulder lightly. Tai exhaled in exhaustion and smiled back. "Thanks Joe…for saving him."

"Hey it wasn't just me. I don't know how you did it but if you hadn't gotten him out of there I'd never have had a chance to help."

With that Joe stood and went over to Izzy who was further into the cave examining the strange writing on the walls that Tai never paid attention to. Tai watched the steady rise and fall of Yamato's chest with relief. He was so lost in this action he didn't notice Gabumon come over and sit beside him.

"He'll make it." Gabumon said quietly. Tai jumped and blinked at the digimon who seemed to be trying to comfort himself more than Tai.

"Yeah…listen, I won't do it again." Tai said after a short silence. Gabumon didn't say anything he simply turned and looked at the former leader. Tai rubbed circles onto the back of Yamato's hand and tried to focus on the task as he spoke. "I can't recall it clearly but I _know_ my decisions hurt him. I won't let it happen again."

Gabumon laughed softly and Tai looked at him in surprise.

"Didn't I already tell you to stop making promises you might not be able to keep?"

"Then what should I do?"

Gabumon frowned and glanced down at Yamato. "When you…disappeared Yamato started taking risks. He'd volunteer for every mission, intelligence gathering, anything dangerous. We all knew he was throwing himself into the fire…I understood each time he didn't want to come back. But I protected him; I convinced him to keep going. The only thing that worked was reminding him of T.K. and once that got into his head it was all he thought about. I saw his plan, all he wanted was to defeat Yukio and revive T.K. and Hikari, once that was done…let's just say I wasn't sure how to protect him from his demons. He never accepted you being gone. When we found you I hoped it would bring him back to his old self. However you didn't remember anything, it was like you'd died in a whole different way and I saw it destroying him all over again. But now you've started to remember and I know you can bring him back except this time I think he'll be stronger. Don't get me wrong I hope he accepts you again and I think he will, but this time I don't want him to be so dependent on you. It will take time but I want him to realize he can live for himself. You're good for him Tai. Just be there for him; don't make promises you have no control over. Trust him and your team. Don't try to handle everything by yourself and do what you can. That's all anyone can do."

"Do what I can huh? I think I can do that." Tai said jokingly; relief evident in his tone.

"Gabumon…don't you think he's done enough?" Hideki said quietly. Tai had barely acknowledged Hideki this whole time as all the blonde had done so far was sit quietly near Yamato's head. Tai glared at him but he didn't respond.

…

"He'll recover Tai, as long as he rests and doesn't rip his stitches." Joe reassured as he helped Izzy pack up his things.

"But you can't be sure right? What if he needs you and you aren't here?" Tai continued to argue.

"Hideki has experience in the medical field as well. He's almost just as capable as I am, I wouldn't be leaving if I thought otherwise."

"Why doesn't he go back with Izzy then?"

"Because I'm in charge of my crew and I can't push that responsibility onto him. Other people got hurt during the evacuation. They need me."

Tai crossed his arms and frowned. He didn't want Hideki to stay. If Yamato was too weak to be returned to base than Tai was confident he could look after him, but having Hideki with him instead of Joe was frustrating. He didn't like Hideki. From that moment back at camp when their eyes had met he had a feeling they wouldn't get along. The guy rubbed him the wrong way.

Joe and Izzy were returning to the emergency base because Izzy said he may have found a way to revive Agumon and he wanted to get started as soon as possible.

"Yamato should be well enough to return in a week; maybe less if you can get him to follow my instructions." Joe reassured.

"I'm ready, let's go." Izzy said. He smiled and shook Tai's hand. "Hopefully next time I see you Agumon will be with me."

"Thanks man." Tai replied with his usual grin. Izzy and Joe exited after Joe had a short exchange with Hideki.

Tai sighed and resumed his post beside Yamato opposite Hideki who didn't say a word. Tai decided to ignore him. He leaned closer to Yamato's face and was glad to see some of the color had returned. Yamato's breathing was nowhere near as labored as it had been and he looked peaceful. He reached out to feel Yamato's forehead and Hideki made a disapproving tut.

"What?" Tai said, irritated.

"Don't disturb him, if his temperature needs to be checked I'll do it."

"You saying I don't know how to check for fever?"

"I'm saying I'm the one with medical training and you're not."

"You don't need medical training to know that!"

"It helps. Besides what would you do if he was in trouble? Get in the way again?"

Tai's eye twitched. "I won't get in your way." He said with a note of sarcasm.

"You're in my way already." Hideki whispered under his breath.

"What?" Tai snapped.

"I said you better." Hideki barked.

Tai clenched his fist. "What is your problem?"

Hideki frowned and their eyes locked. "I don't have one."

"Well I'm convinced!" Tai said, this time not even trying to hide the sarcasm.

"Look, why don't you go get some fire wood or something before your childish tantrum wakes him up." Hideki replied coldly.

"Why don't you go? Heaven forbid you do something _useful_ for once." Tai responded just as coolly, his anger simmering to a boil. "I'm not going anywhere; I have to be here when Yamato wakes up."

"_I'll _be here. That should be enough." Hideki said, for the first time obvious anger slipped past his cool demeanor and Tai smirked.

"It won't, you're not the one he wants to see."

"You don't know that!" Hideki shouted. His eyes widened when he realized his volume and constricted when he saw Tai's smile.

"So that's it huh? You're jealous." Tai said mockingly.

Hideki closed his eyes and slowly got up. "I'll get the damn firewood."

Tai grinned in triumph as Hideki left and resumed watching Yamato. The triumph faded and he frowned in concern. Why was Hideki so bent out of shape? He obviously liked Yamato, but something about his actions made Tai think it wasn't a simple crush. He tried to recall the few brief times he'd seen Yamato and Hideki interact. Something about the way Yamato looked at him gave Tai a bad feeling. His fragmented memory flashed and he realized the one Yamato had run too in the past was Hideki. His frown deepened, why would Yamato do that? Of all their friends why Hideki?

Soon the exhaustion from the events coupled with the fact he hadn't slept at all the night before due to his worry for Yamato took its toll. He laid down beside Yamato and drifted into an uneasy slumber.

He woke hours later to someone speaking. Sleep still hung heavily over him as he opened his eyes a crack. The fussy image of someone leaning over Yamato came into view and his eyes shot open with a start. It was Hideki. He was down on one knee and had lifted Yamato by his shoulders supporting Yamato's upper body with his leg. His arm was still around Yamato's shoulders his hand clutching Yamato's shoulder, his other hand holding Yamato's. His head was bent, blocking most of Yamato's from view. Tai froze in shock.

He was kissing him.

Hideki was kissing Yamato.

It took a few moments for Tai's brain to catch up. Disbelief quickly dissolved into anger and Tai sprang up. "What are you doing?!" He yelled.

His protest was ignored. In a near rage Tai grabbed Yamato's arm and yanked him away from Hideki, shoving Hideki to the ground simultaneously. To his surprise Yamato didn't hold himself up as Tai had assumed he would, instead he fell back to the makeshift bed with a small moan of discomfort presumably from the harsh hold Tai had on his arm. Tai blinked and released him with unforgiving clarity. Yamato wasn't even awake.

"You bastard!" Tai growled.

Hideki brushed himself off and stood up nonchalantly. "Calm down."

"You're kidding right?! He's not even conscious you sicko!" Tai seethed. He couldn't believe Hideki's attitude. He swiftly strode up to the slightly taller teen and gripped Hideki's collar. "I should knock you back into the last century but I'll be courteous enough to give you one chance to explain yourself."

Hideki sighed and averted his gaze from Tai's accusing one. "I was…giving up."

That took the wind out of Tai's sails. His mouth fell open but no words manifested. Hideki wrestled free of Tai's grip and put a little distance between them. "I was saying goodbye okay? You win."

Tai blinked, and then frowned. "What made you think you had a chance to begin with."

"You're so _arrogant_. I had more than just a chance! I had-" Hideki cut himself off, his hands beginning to shake.

Tai eyed him with a mixture of frustration and outrage. He crossed his arms and waited impatiently for Hideki to continue. He thought the blonde was at best a jerk and at worst scum…but he was letting the guy talk. Why? Why not just kick his ass and be done with it? Something was niggling at the back of his mind, like he was missing a piece of the puzzle.

"…why did you have to come back?" Hideki finally said breaking the tense silence.

It hit Tai like a bucket of cold water. He was stupid not to think of it sooner. His eyes widened and waves of undiluted rage pulsed through him. "No, you didn't. Yama wouldn't." He mumbled.

His memories were still foggy, still partially hidden, but his feelings for Yamato were real and palpable. He knew they had been together, not just friends but much more than that. He couldn't quite remember the situations but the feelings of happiness and _love_ were so strong nothing could suppress them. But love often has a darker side, one of a possessive nature, and despite the understandable circumstances rationality was losing badly against primal fury.

Hideki took a step back sensing a change in the air. It wasn't quick enough, Tai moved so fast Hideki barely had time to comprehend what was happening. One minute he was standing the next he was on the ground nursing his cheek. Blood trickled down the corner of his mouth and he looked up at Tai who was glaring down at him. Tai's fist was practically steaming and his countenance was unlike anything Hideki had seen before. Tai punched Hideki again. His speed was unusual and Hideki was still unprepared, even if he had been he wondered if he'd be able to counter these ridiculously strong strikes.

"Tai! Stop!"

Tai stopped; his bloodied fist centimeters away from hitting its mark, and slowly turned to see Yamato was struggling to get into a sitting position. Hideki clutched his broken nose to stem the bleeding and took the opportunity to get away from Tai by running outside. Tai slowly turned and approached Yamato, when he reached him Tai knelt down on one knee. Yamato could feel the tension in the room and kept his expression neutral.

"You cheated on me." Tai said after a moment of silence, his voice monotone and factual.

Yamato frowned. "That's not true."

"Liar!" Tai snapped, his hand shooting out and grasping Yamato's forearm in a painful vice.

Yamato winced and grit his teeth. He met Tai's accusing, wrathful gaze and could have sworn he literally saw Tai's pupils flash red.

"I'm not stupid Yama! He was kissing you like he had a bloody right too! Tell me you didn't let him; tell me I'm imaging things!"

Yamato closed his eyes and exhaled slowly before speaking. "…I thought you were dead."

When Yamato opened his eyes he saw a look of shocked hurt on Tai's face. Tai's head drooped onto his chest and his hold lost all strength. Yamato watched him unsure of what to say, the words wouldn't come. He hesitantly reached out to touch Tai's shoulder but before he could Tai made an odd sound. The sound soon grew into a flat, hysterical laugh. Tai's head shot up and his lax grip regained its vigor, becoming stronger making Yamato feel as though his arm would break.

"So that's what it comes to huh? If I really did die you wouldn't even wait until my body was cold to spread your legs for someone else."

Yamato's eyes widened in astonishment and in one smooth motion he hit Tai so hard he nearly fell over. "How dare you say that to me! You don't understand anything!"

It was the first time Tai had heard Yamato speak with so much emotion. It knocked him out of the red haze and he looked at Yamato as he continued.

"While you were out happily enduring ignorance I had to pick up the pieces! They all _relied_ on me. I was your second in command, I had to become leader; it didn't matter if I wanted the position or not. I didn't have time to mourn, wasn't allowed to stop for a second, I had to keep going or risk letting them all down. None of them knew Tai, do you remember that? No one knew about _us_, no one…except Hideki."

Yamato paused, his gaze flickering to away before settling back on Tai. "He was my friend. The only one I could talk to. But even having someone to listen wasn't enough…do you remember the first time you told me you loved me? Was that something you remembered?"

Tai nodded slowly. "Yeah, you ran to him."

"Not that, do you remember what I said to you?"

Tai furrowed his brow in concentration. "You said that you were afraid."

Yamato smiled. "That's right. Afraid of losing myself, of turning into a shell."

Yamato slowly raised his hand to the center of his chest and locked eyes with Tai. "It happened Tai, the moment you disappeared what little I had left vanished."

"Yama…" Tai breathed and he let go of Yamato's arm. Yamato looked away from him and stared at the wall of the cave.

"Hideki confessed to me, but I didn't feel anything. So when he asked me to let him try to heal me I let him." Yamato said softly. "But…but it was worse than doing nothing. It felt wrong, it made me feel sick. He said it was the only way to get over your loss."

"He took advantage of you!" Tai snarled.

Yamato shook his head. "I gave him permission. I didn't resist at all during, I didn't protest vocally or give him any indication he was in the wrong. I think he really does love me. If I had told him to stop he would have."

"Why didn't you?"

"I hoped he was right. I convinced myself that if I got through it I'd feel alive again. But I was wrong. I hurt myself, I hurt him…and now I've hurt you."

Yamato went silent and watched Tai. Tai couldn't look him in the eye. The anger he'd felt was still present but it had no outlet. There was no one to blame. He still hated Hideki but it really wasn't the teens fault. It was all caused by circumstances that he created. It was difficult to accept. Despite knowing all of this Yamato was correct, it still hurt. The thought of someone else being with Yamato drove him mad. Even if it was because Yamato believed he was dead at the time it still tore him apart.

"You don't have to forgive me." Yamato's flat tone made Tai pay attention. Yamato had a far off look, so detached it was as though someone else was speaking using his voice. "I don't expect you too. I can't. If the others found out they wouldn't either."

"That's not it!" Tai yelled startling Yamato out of his zoned out state. "You've done nothing that needs to be forgiven!"

This caused Yamato to freeze. Tai frowned and grabbed the blond by his shoulders forcing him to look at him. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I overreacted! If I'm going to mad at anyone it'll be him not you. No one would blame you, hell I have no idea how I'd react if it was the other way around! Our friends wouldn't treat you any differently; have a little more faith in them, in me!"

The pressure bled out of Yamato and he relaxed, slumping forward to rest his head on Tai's chest. "Say that sooner idiot."

Tai smiled and wrapped his arms around Yamato. "Sorry for being an idiot."

Yamato laughed softly and gradually grew heavy. Tai slumped back a little in surprise, Yamato had fallen asleep. Tai mentally scolded himself, the blonde was still in bad shape and going through emotional hell couldn't be good for him. Tai hoped this had closed the gap between them a little. His jumbled emotions told him he wanted to kiss the blonde, but something told him it was too soon. Yamato was still keeping his distance. If he made the wrong move he'd be rejected.

Tai gently laid Yamato back down. He couldn't rush things. If he did it might never work out. He stretched out his fingers and winced; they were cut up and slightly swollen. Seeing them reminded him of Hideki. He sighed; he needed to talk it out with the bastard. If they were going to help Yamato they would have to get along or at least agree to not get in each others way.

He exited the cave and found Hideki returning the equipment he had taken out to the first aid kit. He'd cleaned up his face and had a large white cotton band aid across his nose. Tai resisted the urge to laugh.

Hideki whirled around when he sensed Tai's approach. Tai shook his head and held out his hands. "I'm not here to fight."

"Oh that's great. Glad you don't plan to break my nose again." Hideki retorted.

"I'm not sorry. You had it coming."

"So you came to lecture me? Talk about rubbing salt in the wound."

"Look I came for a truce. We have to get along for Yama's sake."

"Couldn't think of that sooner?" Hideki snorted. He sighed and took some bandages out of the first aid kit. "Let me fix up your hands, without them a monkey like you will be useless."

Tai frowned but allowed Hideki to get to work. He had to admit the bastard was acting pretty decent considering. "Why help me out?"

Hideki sighed again, this time louder and infinitely more annoyed, and unexpectedly tightened the bandage making Tai grimace. "Because Yamato will be worried if these cuts get infected. I would let you tough it out otherwise."

Tai didn't respond. The guy really did care about Yamato. It made it harder to hate him. "Whatever."

"Listen, I don't like you." Hideki snapped.

"No duh, the feelings mutual."

"I never liked you. You're a moron, you're unreliable and you're reckless. But you're the only one that can make him happy. The first time I saw him smile since you disappeared was when you tried to stop him from fighting back at the base. Unlike you I have a few brain cells to work with so I know I can't take your place no matter how much I want to. That's why I've decided to give up."

Hideki stood and glared at Tai. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to be there for him. And it certainly doesn't mean I'll let you get away with it if you hurt him again."

"I'd never-"

"I don't believe you. Back there you were like a changed person. I've seen you angry before you disappeared but that was unreal. You were dangerous. I thought you might kill me."

Tai tried to smile but it wouldn't come. Uneasiness swept through him. What had he been thinking during the fight? He frowned. He couldn't remember. Nothing, not the fight, not even going over to Yamato! When he tried all he could see were fuzzy images. He had easily accepted that Hideki had been hurt by his hand but he couldn't remember how he did it. He blinked, wasn't he holding onto Yamato? When did he grab him?

Hideki watched Tai's changing expression and followed when Tai turned and ran back into the cave. Tai knelt beside Yamato and grabbed his arm pulling down Yamato's sleeve.

"What are you doing?" Hideki asked. Tai slowly moved to the side and gently held up Yamato's arm so Hideki could see. There was a deep bruise beginning to form that was the shape of a hand. Hideki scowled and examined the bruise.

"This level of damage shouldn't be possible." Hideki mumbled. Tai didn't respond. He was staring at his hands. He didn't remember doing that, when did his grip get so strong?

"I take it back." Tai said quietly. "I am sorry I hit you. I barely remember doing it. I need a favor."

"What?" Hideki asked distractedly.

"I'll keep an eye on Yamato…and you keep an eye on me."


	4. 4 Forgetting what's important

First off sorry for the lateness of this chapter but this time I have a valid excuse. I've been very sick, like can't get out of bed sick, and only now feel better. This story only has about two more chapters after this I think, depending on how I decide to break them up. Thanks for having patience with me and thanks to those who have reviewed you guys really keep me going!

* * *

><p>The soft light of morning roused Tai from his sleep and he groggily sat up. He glanced down to check on Yamato and was surprised to see the blonde was missing. He quickly stood up and, being careful not to wake Gabumon, approached the caves entrance. He smiled in exasperation when he spotted Yamato leaning against it facing away from him.<p>

"You shouldn't be up." Tai scolded softly. Yamato looked over his shoulder at Tai and smiled weakly.

"I needed some air."

"Seriously you've only been resting for a few days. You shouldn't push yourself."

"I'm not, it's just I can't stay here any longer. We need to get back to the others."

Tai sighed then tentatively reached out and lightly gripped Yamato's arm. He gently but insistently tugged at him and Yamato allowed himself to be pulled away. Yamato took a step closer and winced, his hand unconsciously moving to cradle his injured side hidden beneath the black jumper Joe had given him. Tai's body moved on its own once again, covering Yamato's injured side with his hand while the other slid around Yamato's waist. This time the pain in his head wasn't as bad but the burning ache coiled in his stomach and pulled at his heart making him dizzy.

"You are. It hasn't healed." Tai whispered while slowly closing the gap between them. Yamato's expression turned from slightly embarrassed to annoyed and he glared at Tai.

"I can fight. I'm not an invalid."

"Really?" Tai said flatly. He was angry that Yamato wasn't worrying about himself. He needs to take this seriously. Tai grabbed Yamato's wrist and pushed him against the wall; Yamato's surprise turned to anger and he clenched his fist. Just as he was about to punch Tai in the face Tai lightly pressed on his injured side and he gasped in pain. Tai frowned internally as Yamato's knees grew slack and his breathing turned harsh. He would have fallen if it weren't for Tai holding him up. Tai brought both Yamato's wrists up and held them above his head with one hand. "Still confident?"

"Shut up. You took a cheap shot." Yamato growled. Tai didn't let the anger, worry and annoyance he felt show. His face was blank as his hand felt its way up to cup Yamato's cheek; he watched the blonde fight about what to feel, to remain angry or be happy, to trust him or push him away, to listen or continue to be stubborn. His own emotions consumed him and he ignored everything else. He was impulsive by nature and now was the perfect time to let that show. He leaned in, closing the gap between them, and let their lips meet. Yamato pulled away at first so Tai held the back of the blonde's neck and drew him closer. Tai deepened the kiss; memories flew and burst around his brain, joy and lust bubbling through his whole being, the pain was nothing compared to the unbearable heat twisting his stomach and filling his soul. He ignored the small part of him that was confused and the other part that was concerned about Yamato's recovery. Instead he let his free hand wander beneath the blondes top to feel the smooth contours of Yamato's chest. He heard Yamato moan softly; instead of trying to get away the blonde seemed desperate to get closer. Tai reluctantly broke the kiss and saw the light blush tinging Yamato's cheeks.

"How _touching._" They both froze and Tai turned slowly to see Yukio standing behind them with a real gun aimed at them. Tai growled and released Yamato, turning slowly to make sure Yamato was behind him he glared daggers at the older man. Yukio looked completely neutral.

"How did you find this place?" Yamato asked with strong authority.

"It doesn't concern you." Yukio replied softly, almost kindly.

"I don't care how you got here; just get lost." Tai hissed. Yukio turned his attention away from Yamato and smiled at the former leader.

"Not without what I came here for."

"As if I'd let you touch him!" Tai replied fiercely.

Yukio shook his head, his smile was unsettling and his eyes were deep, unreadable. "I'm not here for him. I've come for you."

Tai blinked in confusion and felt Yamato grip his shoulder forcing him back so they stood side by side. "Why?" Yamato asked in a deathly monotone.

Yukio's eerie smile remained fixed and he took a step closer to them. "That is also not for you to know."

"You're a bucket of answers." Tai scoffed, his body tensing for the coming fight. He saw Yamato close his eyes and take a calming breath, when he opened them it was with calm determination and he flicked his wrist. Suddenly Gabumon leapt from the cave and knocked the gun to the ground. Tai and Yamato moved in unison but, because the blonde was injured, Tai got there first and pinned the man to the ground. Yukio sighed and shook his head.

"You didn't think I'd come alone?" He asked calmly while gesturing to the sky. Tai glanced out and felt his blood run cold. The sky was filled with the same demon-like digimon from before. He heard Gabumon digivolve and saw the large metal wolf tackle two of the creatures sending all three tumbling to the ground. Turning his attention back to Yukio he grabbed the man's collar and shook him.

"Call them off!" Tai demanded.

Yukio looked nonplussed and tilted his head. "Why? Because I'm a hostage?" As he spoke Tai felt a sharp pain in his stomach, his grip weakened and Yukio took the opportunity to punch him again throwing the former leader off of him. Tai held his stomach and tried to stand. Yukio was about to kick him in the head when Yamato punched the man in the face making him stumble back. Yamato was gripping his injured side and it looked like he was having trouble standing.

"You'll learn. You can't save anyone; in this world there is no such thing as hope." Yukio said flatly, that same strange softness filtering into his words. Yamato ignored him and went for another punch. Yukio anticipated it and moved forcing Yamato to overshoot, he grabbed the blonde's wrist and twisted it behind his back. Yamato winced and Yukio lightly traced his wounded side. "You didn't die…I'm glad."

Yamato laughed bitterly. "If that's how you feel you shouldn't have tried to kill me in the first place."

"Let go of him!" Tai barked. Yukio glanced up at him and for the first time since he got there his eyes went cold. Deliberately, as if he were simply petting a cat or lifting a plate, he dug his fingers into Yamato's injured side. Yamato hissed in pain through gritted teeth and Tai saw red.

"Stop it!"

"Or what? What will you do? What _can _you do? You have no digimon, no backup, I hold all the cards."

Tai clenched his fists. The cold realisation drained most of the fight out of him and his rage slowly morphed to despair. "Please leave him alone." He said finally.

Yukio stopped and drew his hand away. His fingertips were soaked with red and the only reason Yamato wasn't on the floor was because Yukio was holding him up. He regarded Tai carefully. It took all Tai's willpower not to try and rip the guy's throat out.

"Alright. But only if you agree to come with me and never try to escape."

Tai glared at him. He knew that request was coming.

"No! Don't…" Yamato pleaded; his voice weak from pain. Yukio sighed and traced Yamato's jaw leaving a trail of blood before gripping the blonde's neck to silence him. He met Tai's gaze and waited patiently for an answer.

The urge to save Yamato was overwhelming but Tai knew he had to consider it carefully. Sure, he could lie; give his word then double cross the bastard. But the way Yukio was looking at him made him doubt he'd get away with it. That was too big a risk to take. He needed to save Yamato, there was no question, but something was holding him back. He looked at Yamato and really saw him. Saw who he was, what he thought, and what this would do to him. With Gabumon's words ringing in his ears he changed his stance and glared at Yukio.

"I won't let you hurt him; but I'm not going anywhere with a scumbag like you." He said confidently. Yukio blinked, looking genuinely surprised, and Yamato smiled. Yukio's surprise quickly melted into indifference and he tightened his grip on Yamato's neck.

"I wasn't expecting you to say that. From previous experience I thought you'd do anything for your friends."

"I still will, but I'm not going to abandon them again."

Yukio's face fell, Tai would hate to admit it but it scared him, and he started chuckling; a deep, dark laugh that screamed instability. "You have me intrigued! Come on then, show me how you'll win."

Therein laid the difficulty; Tai didn't have a clue. He heard the metal wolf fighting outside keeping the other creatures at bay. There would be no help from him. He ran through a few scenarios but nothing came to mind. Then he saw Hideki creeping up behind Yukio. In all the commotion he'd forgotten about the blonde, he didn't spend long dwelling on the strangeness of feeling relief at the sight of Hideki and instead refocused on Yukio praying he hadn't accidentally given Hideki away. Yukio frowned and Tai mentally cursed, turns out his expression had given something away.

Yukio turned in time to dodge a strike at his face from Hideki and countered with a kick to Hideki's stomach sending the blonde flying. The motion made Yukio lose his footing and both Tai and Yamato took their chance. Yamato elbowed Yukio in the stomach with his free arm which caused Yukio's grip to lessen and Tai rammed into Yukio's side. The force knocked him back and he let Yamato go. Tai pounced on Yukio and started punching him in the face. He didn't let up and Yukio started to laugh even though his nose was bleeding and blood was pooling in his throat making the laugh distorted. He continued to laugh until Tai hit him so hard the laughter stopped. Tai tried to ignore the blood coating his knuckles and scrambled to Yamato's side.

"You okay? Let me see." Tai said shakily.

Yamato waved him off. "I'm fine."

"No you aren't!" Tai said in exasperation. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Yukio was still down and shook his head. "That crazy asshole might wake up soon. You got any ideas on how to escape?"

"Front-door?" Yamato asked between pain filled gasps. Tai frowned and started to help him move toward the entrance. The close proximity started to make his head pound causing him to wince, a few more fleeting memories of similar situations filtered through and the ache turned to agony. He'd been trying so hard to remember these past few days and the combination of adrenaline and fear rushed straight to his head. He gasped and fell to his knees clutching his head. Yamato fell with him landing on one knee and turned to the former leader.

"What's wrong?" Yamato probed. His obvious concern only served to make Tai's head feel like it could split open at any second. His brain felt as though it was doubling in size but it wasn't a normal migraine. It seemed like something was trying to get out, consuming whatever got in its way. The sights, sounds, smells, feelings, everything he'd managed to remember crashed into him all at once and he screamed. He couldn't hear it over all the conversations he'd ever had thundering in his ears simultaneously. He had no idea if what he was seeing was real; it would change from one scene to another like he was leafing through a picture book about his life. Faintly he felt his body moving, someone lifting him, but he couldn't tell when it had happened or if it was currently happening. Too much, too much, too much. All at once, he was suffocating on a thousand meals, a billion words, drowning in oceans, swimming pools, baths, showers, baking in boiling summers and freezing in cold winters, wrestling with sleep and being so awake it hurt, speaking, touching, hearing.

Living.

* * *

><p>He shut down. He had to; no mind could withstand that for very long. He floated in darkness and it felt pleasant compared to the horror of living a life in one moment. He had no concept of how long it took but he finally opened his eyes. He wondered if this were another memory. Another moment of thousands to slam into him; but it was different. He soon realised his thought processes had returned and he was normal. Only feeling a few things at a time, how it should be. Vaguely he noticed he was uncomfortable and cold. Realising he was lying down he slowly propped himself up and glanced at the stone floor he was laying on. Looking around he quickly noticed he wasn't in the cave anymore. He turned his head and abstractly acknowledged Yamato kneeling beside him watching him worriedly.<p>

"Are you hurt?" Yamato questioned softly. Tai blinked and tried to sort through his fuzzy, distant thoughts. He sat up slowly and stared straight ahead. His eyes had a strange tinge to them and were glazed over.

"Hurt?" He mimicked flatly.

Yamato frowned and moved so he could look Tai in the eye. "That's what I asked. Do you understand?"

Tai's expression didn't change. He knew this person was Yamato and they were teammates. But those were just facts. There was no emotion behind it. Tai cocked his head when he thought of the word. Emotion, it sounded important, but he couldn't recall what it meant. He moved his hand and examined it. He could move; that was a function, necessary.

"Are you feeling alright?" Yamato asked again, the seriousness of his tone meant nothing to Tai.

"Feeling?" Tai mimicked again. This was another word, also important, also unknown. He tried to contemplate what it meant but the meaning wouldn't come. Yamato's brow creased and he dropped to one knee in front of his former leader trying to see if he could spot any physical injuries.

"What happened? We're not in the cave anymore. Did you teleport us again? What has it done to you?" Yamato asked trying to get a response out of the brunette. He searched Tai's eyes and was worried with what he saw; the dark irises had an odd red gleam to them. Tai didn't respond, he simply tilted his head and stared at the blonde with a detached sort of interest.

"Please talk to me Tai; you're starting to scare me." Yamato said honestly. Tai blinked for the first time since he woke up and pushed himself forward so he was sitting on his knees in front of Yamato.

"Speech, I can do this."

Yamato smiled, though it was still full of anxiety, and laughed softly. "A little weird but I'll take it. Can you stand? I think we should try to figure out where we are."

Tai tilted his head in the opposite direction and unblinkingly stared at the blonde. Where were they, was it necessary to know? A sharp burst of pain in his chest screamed it was and he winced. Yamato pursed his lips in concern and tentatively reached out to gently hold the brunettes shoulders. Tai's eyes narrowed and without another word he leaned forward and shoved Yamato's shoulders; it wasn't a hard push but it was enough to make the blonde lose his balance and fall backwards. Before Yamato could process what had just happened Tai was sitting on top of him once again staring owlishly. Yamato blinked once before he got angry.

"What are you doing?" He accused flatly. Tai was still looking at him with that unnerving, unblinking stare. What was he doing? The pain flared and he cocked his head. He needed to accomplish a task. It was top priority. He wasn't actually thinking these things, it was like he was watching Yamato through a television and hearing the dialogue in his head; he was fading into the background. Who was he again? Was the answer even necessary?

"Seriously, what the hell do you think you're doing? Get off me." Yamato demanded.

"I need to leave." Tai said in that chilly monotone. Yamato had to concentrate to keep himself from freaking out.

"Yeah, we both do. So get off so we can do that." Yamato replied. He slowly propped himself up on his elbows and tried to get free.

Tai blinked again. His expression didn't change as he shoved Yamato back down harder than before. Yamato winced at the sudden pain and glared at him. Something was so off here, so wrong, it terrified him. He grit his teeth and threw a punch; if words failed this usually worked. The punch never connected, Tai moved so fast it was a blur and caught his fist in a painful grip. Yamato winced and he couldn't believe he was feeling afraid of Tai, _Tai,_ the one person he'd never have believed he could be afraid of. It wasn't possible. Yet here he was, feeling positively freaked out by this zombie Tai.

Tai watched him and the dull glow in his eyes flared. "I have to return. You are in the way."

"…who are you?" Yamato said darkly. Tai's pupils constricted and the glow faded, he looked surprised and tilted his head.

"Tai. I'm Tai."

"You aren't acting like it." Yamato replied. Tai tried to respond but the words got jumbled before he could. The pain was getting persistent; this was a waste of time. He needed to continue with the task. Nothing else mattered. He grew numb, all confusion and thoughts slowing to a standstill, until they stopped altogether. Yamato saw with growing horror the glow begin to burn brightly and Tai became expressionless. Gritting his teeth Yamato surged forward and forced Tai back. He rolled away and got to his feet shakily. Tai moved with incredible speed and hit Yamato's chest with an open palmed strike. Yamato was totally unprepared for the hit and went flying, his back slamming against the wall and a strained cry of pain escaping his lips as he fell to the floor. Tai walked forward woodenly and lifted Yamato by his collar. Yamato coughed, blood dribbling down the side of his mouth, and struggled just to open his eyes. Tai raised his fist getting ready for the final hit when Yamato had an unexpected surge of energy and punched him. He hit Tai's cheek but Tai's head didn't move with the hit, it was like he didn't feel the pain. Anger lurched through Yamato's stomach and he weakly grabbed Tai's shirt pulling him closer.

"Don't screw with me! I didn't find you just to let you turn into a monster! Does it mean so little? Everything we've been through together? First you forget and now you give up without a fight? What the hell are you doing! Snap out of it!"

A flicker of recognition flitted over Tai's face so Yamato pressed on. "You can't keep doing this to me. Do you know how hard it was to believe you were dead? Do you have any idea? If you were going to do this you should have let me take the fall back then and spared me all this torment!"

Tai blinked and Yamato swallowed hard. He could feel hot tears leaving warm tracks across his face but he couldn't stop them. He closed his eyes and grimaced; the tumultuous emotions and searing agony from his injuries were taking their toll. "But…despite it all I never regretted loving you. Not once."

The screen broke. The strange sensation of watching the events unfold from within a dark pit void of thought fell away. He still had trouble thinking but feelings broke through; concern, guilt, love. So strong it knocked the breath out of him. Tai staggered and Yamato warily opened his eyes, the blue pools were so damn tired it sent the reborn feelings into overdrive and Tai's grip on Yamato's collar went lax. The task must be completed. But Yamato was important, so important, so necessary and _needed _that nothing could be done without him. How had he not realised it sooner? Slowly and with extreme care Tai tilted forward and pressed his lips to the blonde's slightly chapped ones. Yamato laughed bitterly against his lips and Tai pulled him closer tangling his fingers in lax blonde locks. The heat and warmth dragged him back to reality making the numbing darkness in his mind back off.

The task was required. But it was necessary to take care of Yamato. He knew that now. Yamato was needed. He softly coaxed Yamato's mouth open and slid his tongue in. The tingling sensation of warmth and want flooded his head. He ignored the persistent pain in his chest; the task could wait. He broke away slowly and smiled, his personality breaking through the strange barriers in his mind. "I'm sorry."

Yamato watched him warily and then sighed. With a hint of a smirk he steadied himself, wiping the last of the tears from his face and absently held his injured side. "Aren't you always?"

"I mean it. I'm sorry." Tai said firmly. Yamato glanced at him and their gazes briefly locked. With an exasperated huff of air Yamato reached forward and flicked Tai's forehead.

"Idiot."

The odd barriers were still buzzing around Tai's skull and he was finding it difficult to keep hold of the feelings he'd managed to revive. Even though they were fading one thing kept him grounded, kept him from fading right along with them; Yamato was important. Yamato shifted his weight and winced when that action made his wound flare. Tai knitted his brow and tilted his head; he gently reached out and brushed the dark splotches on Yamato's top.

"Hurt?" He asked softly. Yamato blinked and sighed.

"Yeah, a bit."

Tai regarded the blonde, taking a step back he held out his arms. It was Yamato's turn to tilt his head in curiosity.

"What are you doing?" Yamato asked with a hint of amusement. His jarred nerves were trying to cope with the situation and the aching pain was wracking his chest and side.

"You are hurt. I will carry you."

A few awkward moments passed then Yamato sighed and shook his head. "Honestly? No way."

"You are hurt." Tai repeated.

"So you want me to leap into your arms and have you carry me around like a bride?" Yamato joked with thick sarcasm. Another few seconds passed and Yamato pinched the ridge of his nose. "You do. Of course. I hope we can get you back to normal soon because I don't know how much more weirdness I can take."

Tai took a step closer and Yamato raised his hand to stop the former leader. "Okay, stop right there. I won't be carried around, got it?"

Tai's eyes swivelled as he processed the information. Those requests did not comply with what was necessary. It didn't make sense. "I do not understand."

Yamato muttered some choice words under his breath and took a step away from Tai. That proved to be a mistake; he was still weak from the injuries and his legs gave out. Tai was beside him in seconds and swung the blondes arm over his shoulder. "Is this more acceptable?"

Yamato sighed and frowned in annoyance. "Yeah it's fine."

They started making their way through the room and finally took in their surroundings. The place was eerily familiar and Tai could feel a base instinct demanding his attention. Unease. He opened the wooden door, peaked outside, and promptly withdrew and slammed the door shut again. Yamato quirked an eyebrow at his odd behaviour. "What is it now? We have to get back to base."

"This place isn't safe." Tai replied flatly.

"Do you know where we are?"

"Myotismon's castle."

"…you can't be serious."

Tai looked at him and Yamato despaired at his sincerity. He pushed Tai away from him and slid down the wall into a sitting position hanging his head in his hands. "Shit."

Tai moved over to him a gently stroked his hair. "Don't worry."

"I'm not worried. I'm trapped smack bang in the middle of the enemy camp without my partner, no back up on the way and a leader that's out of it. I'm peachy." Yamato's sarcasm had a deadly edge to it.

"I will take care of you. You are important."

Yamato sighed in desperation and looked up at Tai tiredly. Tai tried to think. There was something else he needed to do here. A pull…Yamato was necessary for him. Something was necessary for the pain in his chest. It wasn't a feeling; it was physical pain that manifested once he asked himself what to do. He knelt down and lifted Yamato despite the blonde's numerous protests.

"…I will hit you again." Yamato deadpanned.

It pulled. No, it tore. Tai winced at the explosive burst of agony in his chest and Yamato momentarily forgot his embarrassment to focus on the brunette. "What's the matter?" He asked seriously.

Breathe in, breathe out, this was essential. His feet started moving on his own and he exited the room. The pull was dragging him forward but part of him screamed warnings of danger.

"Tai? You can't just walk out without a plan!" Yamato stated. He tried to get free but Tai's had him in an iron grip; that inhuman strength and cold look had returned. Yamato felt his fear slowly returning and gripped Tai's collar. "No, don't start acting like that again!"

Tai paused and glanced down at the blonde. The strange gleam in his eye was back and it seemed to pulse and fluctuate with his thoughts. Yamato watched it and frowned; he had to get them back to base and figure out what was wrong.

"Acting?" Tai finally said.

"Like an asshole." Yamato replied steadily letting his anger mask his growing fear.

"You're upset." Tai replied easily, his usual self cutting through the monotone a little.

"No duh. I _told_ you not to carry me, especially right into Yukio's hands."

"But I must go."

Yamato ran a hand through his hair. At least he was talking. "This again, where? I doubt you're trying to reunite us with the others."

The pain was back. Ripping and pulling forcing him to brace himself against the wall. Yamato scowled at the change and tried to get free once more. "You are hurt, I knew it. Let me down you're in no state to carry me around."

"I must go." Tai gasped between painful breaths. Yamato had enough time to look at him with concern before Tai broke into a run.

"Tai! Stop!" Yamato demanded; it was hard to yell, Tai was running at speeds that were impossible for a human. Tai heard his protest but couldn't bring himself to stop. He had to get there it was the only thing that reduced the pain. He burst through doors like they were nothing and weaved through the winding halls with ease. He saw digimon of varying types but didn't acknowledge them or slow down; a few were giving chase but he was faster. His body was moving but he was struggling with his mind. He was disappearing, slipping back into the darkness, but Yamato's warmth in his arms and the recent emotions he'd managed to revive acted as a life-line. Whatever was making him do this was winning, but it hadn't destroyed him yet.


	5. 5 Revival

Many thanks to my reviewers, you make writing twice as fun!

* * *

><p>They'd stopped. After what seemed like hours they'd finally stopped. Yamato's knuckles were white from his hold on Tai's shirt and his injuries were screaming. He took a few rattled breaths and tried to ignore the hot white stars sparking at the edges of his vision as he opened his eyes. He wished he hadn't.<p>

Tai stood motionless staring at the grotesque stone figure before him. He knew this creature. Who was it? Why must he do this? The pain in his chest was absent now, instead calmly coaxing him, this was required. He gently lowered Yamato who shakily landed on his feet. He took a step forward and Yamato stopped him by placing his palms on Tai's chest.

"I don't know what made you bring us here but you aren't getting any closer." Yamato said darkly. He didn't understand why it had to be _here_, in this horrible place with the worst memories he held. His wounds hurt, aching twisting pain that made it hard to stand. But he couldn't let Tai do whatever he was doing.

"I must." Tai said so hollowly it made Yamato cringe.

"No you don't! Don't you recognize him? Don't you know who that is? You're telling me you want to be near that thing?! I won't let you!"

"Move."

"No."

"_Move."_ Tai's tone turned dangerous. Yamato narrowed his eyes and shoved Tai back a step.

"Never."

He's important. Tai understood this, yet the insistent tug was trying to convince him otherwise. He's important. This has to be done no matter what, let nothing stop it, it is required. There is nothing more essential. He's important. Nothing is as or more important than this action, it is the meaning of existence, it is top priority. Tai slowly, as if unsure that he was moving at all, reached up and shoved Yamato to the side. Without missing a beat Yamato adjusted his stance and struck Tai's face. Tai fell, landing on his back, and looked up at the blonde with confusion.

"I'm stopping you using whatever it takes."

"You can't stop him."

Yamato froze and cautiously turned his head to look at the source of the voice. Yukio stood there, his entourage of digimon plastered along the walls and littering the floor behind him patiently waiting to battle. His face was still swollen from Tai's attack but he'd cleaned up and had a cotton pad bandage over his broken nose. Yamato scowled and tried to keep an eye on Tai without letting the man out of his sight.

"What have you done to him?" Yamato accused icily, his fists shaking with rage.

"I didn't do anything. He did this to himself. Have you figured it out yet?" Yukio said calmly, sweetly. He walked over as if he was strolling in the park and Yamato moved in front of Tai to face the man. Tai watched, once again detached, and glanced between them. Who was this person? He didn't seem relevant. Something buzzed in the back of his mind, another emotion perhaps, causing him to frown. What was this feeling? Yukio extended his hand and brushed the loose strands of gold from the corner of Yamato's eye.

"You're awfully pale." He said sounding genuinely concerned. The unearthed emotion roared in its newfound freedom and Tai stood faster than either present could comprehend. He grabbed Yukio's outstretched fingers in a death grip and wrapped his arm around Yamato's waist. Hate, hate, hate, hate; a strong emotion demanding attention, this person should never touch Yamato. Loathsome, scum, _unnecessary. _He increased the pressure and a few solid cracking noises crunched within his grip. Yukio winced but his smile never fell; he wrestled his hand free and took a few deliberate steps back. Tai's features were twisted in unbridled rage and Yukio raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.

"Don't touch him." Tai hissed.

"I didn't mean to offend you; I was simply greeting an old friend." Yukio replied soothingly.

"Stay back." Tai demanded.

Yukio obliged by taking several more steps back. "I have no plans to interfere."

"Tai, let's go. You're fast enough to get us out of here." Yamato said lowly in the hopes Yukio wouldn't hear.

Tai glanced at him and carefully let him go. "Not yet."

"I already told you I'm not letting you do whatever it is you're planning." Yamato argued.

It's time to complete what is required. He took another step toward the statue and Yamato grabbed his shoulders forcing him to stop. He looked at the blonde and frowned. Yamato was important. This was also important, top priority, no excuses. The pain returned and he gripped his chest in agony. It must be done. Nothing else matters. At any cost, at any cost, at any cost.

"What is it? Tell me what's going on." Yamato asked trying not to let his fear show. Tai's eyes snapped up to him and he gasped at how _empty_ they were. It hadn't worked, he'd done everything he could to bring him back and it hadn't worked! Tai mechanically raised his hands towards Yamato's face.

"Tai?" Yamato managed to ask; the fear and worry evident now. Tai didn't respond. He simply wrapped his fingers around the blonde's neck. Yamato's hands immediately flew up and grasped the former leader's wrists. "Tai, don't." Yamato pleaded somehow keeping his voice calm. Tai's indecision melted into indifference and he brought himself to his full height pushing Yamato down.

"Sleep." He said flatly and started squeezing. Yamato choked and pulled trying to get free but Tai was immovable. He increased the pressure and watched, watched the blonde's pupils dilate and his attempts to escape become feeble, watched the few stray tears spill from his eyes before he finally closed them. His hands fell away and Tai immediately released him, catching him before he fell he gently laid him on the ground.

"Did you kill him?" Yukio asked flatly though a trace of anger was there. Tai glared at him and shook his head.

"No." Tai's glare intensified when Yukio nodded in approval. He ignored the man and approached the statue. He examined it. The creatures face was so like a human; the fangs and elongation the only things that set him apart. He tried to conjure a name but it wouldn't come. He placed his hand over the gaping hole in the statues chest and closed his eyes. The pain lifted and the pulling changed to pouring. It flowed out. This was required. The more the red glow flowed from his palm the more his true self returned. Memories seeped back slowly, in a manner he could handle, personality traits, speech, who he was. Emotions returned basking him in their complexity; thoughts and feelings that couldn't be classed in simple necessity. At first it felt wonderful to have these things returned but then other less pleasant memories filtered back. A battle that ended in sacrifice, who he'd been fighting remained shrouded. Why?

His eyes shot open and he gasped. What was he doing? Why was he standing in front of DeiMyotismon's sealed statue? He took a rushed step back breaking the contact and saw that the colour had returned to most of the terrible digimon's body. He saw the stream of light floating weakly from his palm and quickly pulled his hand to his chest. The stream dissolved and the evil red glow surrounding DeiMyotismon's body faded.

"Now now don't stop there. You aren't finished." Yukio said calmly. Tai whisked around nearly tripping on thin air. His heart was hammering madly in his chest and panic was making it hard to think. He didn't remember how he got here. Didn't remember how he got to the castle. But he did remember Yamato, he remembered! He remembered talking to him, apologizing, arguing but he didn't remember anything after that! Then he noticed. Yukio wasn't alone; he had Yamato, cradling him in one arm like a child.

"What's going on? Did you bring me here? Tai asked angrily as he tried to calm his panic.

"Poor thing. Can't remember much can you? You're lucky you retained your sanity. If he hadn't been with you you'd have been consumed."

"What are you talking about?" Tai replied heatedly. Panicking can come later; getting Yamato away from that psycho came first.

"It was a surprise for me too. I didn't even entertain the possibility until I saw you alive and well. Didn't you question what happened to you?"

"Put him down." Tai demanded ignoring the question.

"I'd spent so much time looking for it. You really set my plans back. To think an imbecile like you had the key I'd spent so long reviving."

"What are you babbling about?" Tai growled, irritation bubbling on his forehead. Yukio laughed and smiled; it was disturbing.

"Why, the egg of course. The energy source, it's been trapped inside _you _ever since that fateful day when you pulled it out of DeiMyotismon's chest. I couldn't understand how a human could contain that much raw power and live but then I saw it. You've been suffering from amnesia I assume. Headaches, nausea, pain when remembering?"

"…how did you-"

"Know? Easy. A human can't contain all that energy, unless it is dormant. Even then the energy from the egg leaked out. To keep your mind from quite literally exploding it took away anything unnecessary in order for it to return to where it belongs. Your memories were the obvious choice. How do you think I knew how to find your little hiding place? That cave was Myotismon's birthplace, once I realized you had the egg I knew where it had transported you too; where better to recover then at its birthplace? The more you used it the more energy was released and the less your mind could take. The first time you teleported was when the egg first merged with you. It was weak and had to use the data particles from the digimon who perished that day, hence the residue resembling blood. The second time the egg had recovered quite a substantial amount and was able to send both you and this child back to its birthplace. The third and final time the egg has practically become whole so is trying to return to where it belongs. At this stage it should have destroyed your personality completely leaving an empty shell that the egg could use. The egg doesn't have a personality; it is a tool that was created to serve its function, a collection of energy that utilizes its resources to return to its master. However you're still very much you, you even managed to reclaim control before fully reviving DeiMyotismon." Yukio paused and glanced down at Yamato. He stroked the blonde's cheek and rubbed under his eye with his thumb. When he spoke again his tone was low and thoughtful as he was addressing Yamato. "How did you keep his mind intact?"

"Leave him alone!" Tai yelled, too angry to fully absorb what he'd been told.

Yukio sighed and glared at the former leader. "Who do you think did this to him, hmm?"

Tai blinked in shock, snippets of images returning to his mind, and he swallowed hard. "I couldn't-"

"But you did. What makes you think he'd be safer with you? He's a pitiful child, suffering no matter what choices he makes. Still, he is not of importance right now; you're the only one who can make a difference. I thought you might have beaten me after all that bravado you showed in the cave. Shame it didn't work out that way. Now you're in the same situation and this time fighting me won't save either of you."

"I told you to let him go." Tai seethed. He wouldn't let Yukio get into his head. His memories had returned, how much he hated this man and how they'd all fought him. He was the leader of the digidestined and he was _sick_ of being jerked around.

"Finish the job and I will." Yukio replied with equal venom.

Tai looked at the statue and frowned. He could feel a hint of something telling him to do it but it wasn't anything like before. He grit his teeth wishing the others were here, that Agumon was here. Think, things couldn't be hopeless, there had to be a way!

"I will force you." Yukio said unfeelingly. He gave a slight nod and the Devidramon, Tai recalled what they were now, surrounded the brunette. "You can make this easy on all of us."

"Fuck off."

"Thought you might say that." Yukio replied boredly. "Don't kill him."

The Devidramon on his right backhanded Tai with the blunt edge of his claws sending him into the ground. Stars spotted Tai's vision and he struggled to lift himself. The blow jarred his whole body and sent waves of pain up and down his spine. He wheezed, struggling to get back to his feet, and coughed up a worrying amount of blood. Fuzzy blurs encroached around the edges of his sight and his muscles screamed in agony. When he managed to shakily get to his feet another Devidramon swiped them out from under him causing him to land on his stomach. He swore he heard the digimon laugh.

"Will you cooperate now?" Yukio asked blandly; he walked over to stand directly in front of the brunette. Tai shakily pushed himself up and spat blood on the man's shoe. Yukio knitted his brow and grabbed the back of Tai's collar with his free hand. He dragged the brunette back to the statue and took his wrist forcing him to press his palm to the statues chest once again. Tai tried to pull back but Yukio kicked him in the stomach and he had to concentrate to stay awake the pain rattling his system. He felt the other presence leaving him and distantly heard the sound of an explosion. Wait…what? He struggled to open his eyes; everything hurt it was like he'd been hit by a train that doubled back for good measure.

"Tai! Yamato!" The familiar voice made his eyes shoot open and he grinned. Garudamon was running toward him her fist in the air ready to strike. He suddenly realized Yukio had his back to the mighty bird digimon and she couldn't see he still held Yamato.

"Wa…it…" He coughed out desperately. Garudamon seemed to notice, her strike slowing a fraction which was enough for Yukio to notice her approaching and leap away from the attack. Tai fell as soon as Yukio released him and, despite the racking pain, struggled to his feet. Stumbling away from the statue he noticed the battle raging around him. Hordes of Devidramon were attacking his friends fully digivolved digimon; he could see Megakabuterimon slamming a few devidramon into the ceiling with his massive horn and Lilymon darting between the Devidramon's crimson claw attacks. He assumed the others were fighting too he just couldn't see them. His vision blurred with each painful step and he collapsed forward. To his surprise he didn't hit the ground. He looked up and smiled at Sora's concerned face.

"You're alive! Are you okay?"

"Not really…thanks Sora."

She gasped and glanced at Myotismon's statue. "You remember me? But how, Izzy said-"

"Doesn't matter. Yamato's in trouble." Tai cut her off.

"Where is he?" She replied agreeing to keep the questions for later.

With her help Tai stood and looked over the battlefield searching for Yukio. He spotted the man being guarded by several more Devidramon and pointed at him. "Yukio has him."

Sora frowned and dug her fingers into her palms to suppress her anger. "Not for long. Garudamon!"

The mighty bird warrior responded to her partner's call and swooped down using a wing blade to scatter the defending Devidramon. Sora made her way toward Yukio moving as fast as Tai was able. He wanted to go faster, get his team out of there because the air was heavy and deadly. A loud, ear-shattering roar interrupting all the ensuing fights; humans and digimon alike froze and slowly turned to face the source. The cry had shook the air itself and made his blood run cold.

DeiMyotismon's statue was gone. Tai felt Sora tense and they both looked around the room trying to find the monstrous digimon. Tai spotted the digimon leaping onto a devidramon. Tai's mouth fell open in shock as he watched DeiMyotismon viciously tear the devidramon apart with his teeth, the poor creature howled in pain until his data mercifully dispersed into the air. DeiMyotismon turned and Tai saw his eyes; there were no pupils, just blank white expanse. DeiMyotismon leapt into the air and attacked two more devidramon at once.

"What's the matter with him?" Sora asked worriedly. Tai patted his chest and realized the pull was still there, weak and hard to spot, but definitely still there.

"I dunno…I think he's missing something."

"Like what?"

"Um, his mind? He's usually got more to say."

"Tai! Sora!" They both looked up and saw Izzy running towards them holding Agumon's digiegg. "We need to get out of here!"

"Obviously, but not without Yama." Tai replied.

"You don't understand! DeiMyotismon hasn't been revived properly, he's missing the energy he needs to fully awaken and he'll attack anything to get it…anyone."

Tai opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the digiegg. Izzy closed his eyes against the bright light and, once it passed, blinked at koromon in astonishment. "It…worked?" He said lamely.

"Tai!" Koromon squealed excitedly and jumped into his partners arms. Tai grinned and hugged the little pink fluffball despite his aching injuries.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you! How'd you do it?" Tai asked.

"It wasn't that complicated. Once I deciphered the text from Myotismon's birthplace-"

"Wait wait wait! How'd you know that? Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" Tai interrupted.

Koushirou smiled sheepishly and shook his head. "I learned that from the text and samples I took from the cave. I only found out a little while ago, I went to the cave to tell you about it but we ran into Hideki instead. He told us what happened so I brought us here-"

"How'd you know to come here?!" Tai interrupted _again_.

"The text Tai, combining it with my prior knowledge of Myotismon's origins and Yukio's involvement in Myotismon's rebirth I came to understand what all of the strange circumstances surrounding you meant. It was simple really."

"Maybe to you, I still don't know what you're talking about." Tai mumbled.

"Chat later you idiot we've got things to do." Sora chided with urgency. Tai nodded and Koromon leapt out of his arms. Data fluxed and shone around the little creature and finally cleared revealing Wargreymon standing regally in his place. The hordes of devidramon were overpowering the other digidestined's digimon and Wargreymon leapt into action saving Garudamon from being impaled on one of the devidramon's clawed hands. Tai would have grinned if he wasn't so worried.

He heard it before he saw. The rush of air as the deranged beast approached and its demonic roar. It took a second for him to turn and come face to face with DeiMyotismon lunging for him teeth barred. He didn't have time to move. Suddenly he was falling and landed in the dirt scratching up his forearms. He hastily lifted himself and gaped in horror at what he saw. Sora was standing over him protectively and DeiMyotismon was crouching over her, her right forearm clamped firmly in his mouth. Hot blood spilled from it falling to the floor in droves and coating her shoulder. Tai could hear the sickening sound of sucking…DeiMyotismon was drinking it. Sora screamed and staggered, her stance faltering, and starting punching DeiMyotismon's face repeatedly to make him release her.

"Let her go! Wargreymon!" Tai shouted quickly getting to his feet and grabbing Sora's shoulders.

"Right!" Wargreymon shouted in response. He sped forward and jabbed DeiMyotismon's back, DeiMyotismon growled in pain and involuntarily released Sora to leap away. Sora fell back and Tai caught her. He grit his teeth at the sight of blood and ripped a strip from his shirt in an attempt to stem the bleeding.

"Sora! Stay with me!" Tai begged. Sora's head lolled and she nodded. "I'll…be okay."

"Joe! Where are you?!" Tai shouted in panic. He saw Joe heading for them, Izzy was leading him, and Gabumon and Mimi were following close behind. Devidramon were everywhere and Tai didn't know how they managed to make it past.

Joe threw his bag down and immediately got to work; first filling a needle with anaesthetic, and then pressing it into Sora's arm, then dosing the injury with saline solution and finally preparing a sterile needle and thread. He worked fast and tirelessly reassuring Sora with each move he made. Tai couldn't help but admire his skill. Joe scowled as he finished and applied pressure to the wound.

"There's a limit to what I can do here. I've stopped the bleeding but I may have to retreat it once we get back." Joe told her. She nodded and breathed through the pain.

Wargreymon was standing protectively in front of them. He watched Myotismon stalk back and forth seemingly deciding how to get past. It was strange to see the once so calculating digimon acting like a wild animal.

Tai was trying to decide whether to thank Sora like he should or get mad at her for it. He _was_ mad at her. Recklessly jumping into danger was his job. Recently it seemed like everyone around him was suffering and he wasn't able to do anything to stop it. He frowned and hugged her head being careful not to move her so Joe could do his work. "You call me an idiot. That was a gutsy move."

Sora laughed softly and smiled. "I learned from the best."

Tai couldn't help but snigger at that and shook his head. He looked up and realized they were finally turning the tide. The Devidramon were thinning out and some were running away. Garudamon leapt up and punched another out of the sky landing beside Wargreymon and dropping into a defensive stance. The other digidestined partners soon followed forming a solid defense between the digidestined and DeiMyotismon. Wargreymon dropped low and widened his stance. Myotismon, or rather the deranged thing he had become, snarled and crouched. His fingers stretched and extended cracking loudly; thick talons tore through his gloves.

"Show him whose boss!" Tai commanded.

"With pleasure!" Wargreymon cried back. He took off at top speed and jabbed at DeiMyotismon who leapt out of the way only to be sent flying by a sharp punch from Garudamon. The other digidestined partners joined in when they could. They had numbers to their advantage; DeiMyotismon had wild unpredictable power. It was an even fight.

Tai heard a shout from beyond the ensuing battle and glanced over to where he'd last seen Yukio. He couldn't see anything from here.

"Go." Sora said softly. She patted his hand and he frowned.

"I'll be right back."

"Bring him with you." Sora said weakly. It wasn't a request, it was an expectation.

"That's the plan." Tai replied with a reassuring smile. She smiled back as best as she was able and Tai gently handed her over to Mimi who leaned the injured girl against her chest.

"Be careful." Mimi warned sweetly.

"We'll handle things here." Izzy reassured.

"I can't leave Sora. Get him here as quickly as you can; he needs medical attention." Joe added solemnly.

"I would go by myself if I had to." Gabumon said as he got ready to run.

"Thanks guys. We won't be long, stay safe and don't do anything I would." Tai said.

"Don't you mean wouldn't?" Izzy deadpanned.

"Nope." Tai replied with his usual grin. The others sighed but smiled back at him. With one final wave the small party started running.

"Zudomon watch their backs!" Joe called to his partner.

"Sure, not like I was busy or anything!" Zudomon joked as he tossed four Devidramon off his back and followed Tai.

Tai ignored the raging battles and any Devidramon that attacked their group; Zudomon made short work of them and Gabumon managed to delay any he missed. He cast a worried glance at Wargreymon and the others. They were keeping DeiMyotismon at bay but they weren't winning. They needed more power. They needed MetalGarurumon.

They needed Yamato.

He just hoped they could hold out till they got him and that Yamato would be able to help. He increased his pace and finally spotted Yukio up ahead guarded by several more Devidramon that had formed a circle around him. He was clutching his arm as if it were injured and facing slightly away from Tai. Tai followed his gaze and saw Yamato standing in a defensive position a few feet away from the man with a small dagger held out in front of him.

"It's pointless. Even if I'm gone someone will take my place. Neither world will ever be safe or at peace." Yukio said with eerie calmness.

"You're only saying that because you aren't willing to be wrong!" Yamato replied fiercely. His once smooth voice had a raspy quality to it that made Tai scowl.

"You don't know-"

"Stop it! I'm sick of you always saying that! I do know, I've seen it and I've lived through it, there is always another way if you're willing to look!" Yamato interrupted.

Yukio paused, his expression growing dark, and slowly pulled out a gun from his long jacket with his good arm. "Alright then, show me."

Tai willed himself to move faster when he spotted the weapon. A Devidramon spotted him and swiped at him with his claws. Gabumon used his blue blaster to deflect the strike. Tai had ignored it and was leaps and bounds ahead of the wolf digimon. He saw Yukio stoop forward suddenly and lunge at Yamato. It was a reckless move that gave Yamato a perfect chance to stab the man's chest with his upraised dagger but Yamato hesitated. Yukio was on him in seconds, grabbing his wrist and twisting the knife out of his hand. Yukio pressed the gun to Yamato's temple and glowered at the blonde.

"Why didn't you kill me?" He hissed.

"Because no matter how much you wanted it to be true I'm not like you." Yamato spat.

Yukio's eyes widened and he clenched his teeth in anger. He raised the butt of the gun and slammed it into Yamato's head. Yamato grunted in pain and fell to his hands and knees, a fresh rush of blood trickling from the new gash in his forehead down into his eye forcing him to close it.

"You think you're better?! You think you'd have done things differently!" Yukio raved, shaking Yamato roughly from his hold on his wrist.

"Yama!" Tai screamed at the top of his lungs. He was only a car's length away now. His yell caught both of their attention and Yukio whipped around. He smiled wickedly and looked at Yamato out of the corner of his eye.

"I'll show you what your weak beliefs get you." Yukio said flatly.

"Stop!" Yamato shouted. He was a beat too late, his thought processes a moment too slow. Tai was too far ahead for either Zudomon or Gabumon to help, he was on his own. A fact that Yukio would take full advantage of. Without a trace of hesitation Yukio fired knowing the bullet would find it's target.


	6. 6 For better or worse

Here it is, the final chapter. So many feels. I'm sorry it took so long, my life has been pretty hectic of late. I just want to thank everyone who reviewed, you guys are amazing and make this all worth while. I always want to thank everyone who followed either me, this story or both! finally a thankyou to anyone and everyone who read this to the end. I'm glad you didn't give up on it and stuck with me. Until the next one my friends!

* * *

><p><em>"Stop!" Yamato shouted. He was a beat too late, his thought processes a moment too slow and Yukio fired.<em>

Tai swerved at the last second and the bullet clipped his shoulder. Muscle vibrated and tore, skin burst and blood sprayed in a thin arc. Tai fell and rolled across the ground slowing to a stop and flipping on his back. He winced through the pain and clasped a hand over his bleeding shoulder biting his lip against the blinding agony.

Yamato saw him move and released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

"Tch." Yukio cursed. He took a step forward and Yamato plunged his dagger into Yukio's ankle to prevent him from finishing the job. Yukio screamed angrily and faltered nearly losing his balance. Yamato pulled the dagger out and ignored the fact he could barely breathe through the pain from his various wounds to use the last of his strength to lunge upward and slash the back of Yukio's hand making him drop the gun which skidded a few feet away.

"I thought you could be a part of what I'm trying to create. Instead you keep refusing my offers. You're such a disappointment." Yukio growled through pain filled pants. Yamato could barely stand let alone avoid Yukio's hand which shot out and clamped around the blondes throat. Yamato choked, his already abused throat burning unbearably, and clutched Yukio's forearm. Yukio smiled, a deranged look creeping past his calm persona, and lifted Yamato off the ground. Tai forced himself up, forced himself to move, and managed to stagger closer only for Yukio to kick him in the stomach forcing him to his knees. Tai coughed and thick blood splattered onto the dusty floor. He gripped his stomach and opened his eyes only to see Yamato's struggles start to weaken and one of his hands falling away. He couldn't let this happen. Not after everything! NO! NEVER!

Suddenly the wind picked up behind him and something shot past him almost touching his shoulder. His mouth fell open in blind shock as _DeiMyotismon's_ claws shot through Yukio's back and reappeared out the other side. Yukio looked just as shocked. He dropped Yamato who landed sitting down and began desperately coughing and spluttering for breath. Yukio looked down at the razor sharp talons gleaming with his blood and blinked, blood spilling out of his mouth in droves.

"It…ca…n't…be…" He spluttered in utter disbelief before his head lulled back. DeiMyotismon wasted no time; he buried his fangs in the man's neck and drank deeply, his claws twitching tearing Yukio to shreds.

Tai gaped, immobilized by shock, as DeiMyotismon tossed the remains' of Yukio to the side. The vampire like digimon snarled and hot steam gushed from his mouth. He turned, locking eyes with Tai for an instant, before crouching in front of Yamato who scuttled back while cradling his neck with one hand. DeiMyotismon grabbed his leg dragging him back; he yelped in surprise and dug his palms into the dirt trying to get away. DeiMyotismon's features had grown calm, resembling his old self more than a wild beast; and he slowly reached up and lifted Yamato's chin with the blunt edge of his claw so gently he didn't leave a mark. Yamato started shaking, more out of exhaustion from the blood loss and pain then fear. DeiMyotismon slowly tilted his chin this way and that seemingly examining him.

"What?" Yamato whispered worriedly. To his utter disbelief DeiMyotismon cocked his head and creased his brow. He opened his mouth slowly as if the act of speaking was incredibly difficult for him.

"Hu…rt?" It was Myotismon's voice but it was flat, monotonous and somehow showing a shred of concern.

"Holy-"

"Get away from him you Dracula wannabe!" Tai shouted interrupting Yamato. DeiMyotismon snapped his head around and roared.

"Wait!" Yamato said as loudly as he could, which wasn't very loud due to the damage to his throat, and reached after DeiMyotismon who lunged at Tai fangs and talons bared. Before he could skewer the brunette Wargreymon slammed into his side and they both sailed into the wall a good way away. Tai thanked Wargreymon a thousand times over in his head and staggered to Yamato falling to his knees once he got there. He grabbed Yamato's shoulders since the blonde was in a daze and made him turn away from the fight between the two digimon. He pressed the blondes head to his chest and wrapped his arms around him.

"You're alive…I thought, I mean it was…I made it." Tai gushed between panicked breathes. He tried not to hold onto Yamato too tightly because of his injuries but damn did he want to. Yamato lightly pushed on Tai's chest making him loosen his hold and looked at the brunette suspiciously.

"You're you then? Really this time?" Yamato asked stiffly, the recent incident coming back to him and he glanced at Tai's hands nervously. Tai faltered, his relieved smile turning brittle, and pulled back with a hollow laugh. He slowly moved away from Yamato and never let his smile fall though he knew it looked unnatural.

"Oh, right, I didn't mean to startle you." Tai said as lightly as he could manage. Yamato's eyes narrowed and he watched the brunette struggle to his feet. Tai reached down and Yamato flinched, it was a very subtle reaction but both noticed though neither spoke. Yamato gingerly took Tai's hand and winced as the brunette pulled him to his feet. Tai frowned and opened his mouth to speak but Gabumon skidded to a stop in front of his partner preventing Tai from voicing his concern. Gabumon glanced over his partners' injuries with unhidden anger.

"Yamato? What do you want me to do?" Gabumon asked worriedly. Tai could tell the digimon wanted to aid the battle but didn't want to put Yamato in any more danger. Yamato smiled and weakly patted Gabumon's head.

"Fight." Yamato instructed. Gabumon nodded and ran towards the ensuing battle his digital energy already swirling around him. He emerged as MetalGarurumon and slammed into DeiMyotismon who was just about to slice through Lilymon's chest. DeiMyotismon quickly recovered and flipped round to slash the metal wolf's face. MetalGarurumon's thick steel snout was scratched and his head reeled back. DeiMyotismon jabbed his exposed stomach sending him flying back into Zudomon.

Tai shook as he watched the battle. He was so angry, with himself and the monster that threatened them. He was the leader, yet he unleashed one of their worst enemies without a proper fight. He _should _have fought back. Sure, he wasn't in control of his actions, but he had a strong feeling he could have been. Now Sora was hurt, Yamato even more so, and they were still fighting an uphill battle. Between trying to pin down DeiMyotismon and defending their partners the digimon were taxed and tiring fast. They worked well together but there was a limit to their combined attacks. DeiMyotismon wasn't in perfect shape either; they just needed something to tip the scales. Someone.

Tai bit his lip. He wasn't sure he could handle it let alone Yamato. The bullet wound in his shoulder ached and thin streams of hot blood still trickled down his arm dripping onto the dirt floor. It hurt but adrenaline was keeping most of the pain at bay. He glanced at Yamato and jerked in surprise when he realised the blonde was staring at him with steely determination. A dark, immovable determination that was so cold Tai thought he could actually feel the frost.

"We're using Omnimon." Yamato demanded. He wasn't asking, he was telling, and his tone left no room for refusal. Tai scowled and glared at the blonde.

"We can't, _you_ can't. You're in horrible shape and if you think for one second I'm going to happily sit back and let you act insane you've got another thing coming. We don't need him."

"We do. Everyone is at their limit including DeiMyotismon, we need a push to tip the scale."

Yamato always did have a knack to voice what Tai was thinking, but on this occasion Tai loathed it. He took a step closer to Yamato and met his dark glare. "I said no. I don't recall making you leader or letting you take my place. I'm still in charge of this team and what I say goes."

"That's rich! You think I'll listen to you after all that's happened? This is our best option to end this quickly with minimum casualties."

"Don't bullshit me! You've already written yourself off as a casualty! How can you think like that?!"

"Because I'm looking at the bigger picture, at what will happen if I don't. We'll all die Tai. That's the reality. If by some miracle we defeat him we won't be able to withstand the hordes of Devidramon. We won't escape."

"You don't _know _that. I won't let you assume the worst just because things look bad, we'll make it out, we always do!"

"We used to. When all of us were together; things are different now, we're different. We can't go back to those days nor can we live in the past. We have a responsibility to those people who believed us when we told them we'd take them home, to our team, to T.K. and Hikari. This may be a dangerous choice but it is one we have to make. Don't make the same mistake again. Let me do my job this time and support you."

"Yama…"

"You _will_ listen to me this time. You owe me that much."

"But you-"

"Will die? It'll be a small price to pay in the end."

"A small price?! Are you kidding? When did you decide to become a martyr?"

Yamato smiled a hollow, regretful smile and Tai's heart sank. The blonde shifted his weight and calmly grasped the hem of his shirt, grimacing he lifted the garment revealing the wound and Tai's breath caught in his throat. One side had reopened, blood poured from the jagged edges and dark near black bruises covered the intact flesh around it. The other side was caked over with congealed blood and was a raw, purplish colour that spread along the veins through his stomach until his shirt hid how far they had climbed.

"No way…" Tai choked out, his trembling hand reaching for the wound only to have Yamato allow his shirt to fall back down hiding it once more.

"When I realised I'm already as good as dead." Yamato said, his voice flat and void of emotion. "It's a miracle I'm still standing."

"That's not true! I'll bring Joe here, or get you to him, whatever's fastest! He'll be able to help."

"He can't and you know it. We don't have the medicine or the time. It's already getting difficult for me to think, we have to do this while I still can."

"I-"

"Enough! I've-I've heard enough. Just do it."

Tai fell silent, his whole body shaking. He was angry, angrier then he'd ever been in his entire life, and he knew once it wore off he'd feel something new. Something horrible. Yamato already had his digivice in his hand and was looking at the ensuing battle. Tai closed his eyes and readied his digivice mimicking Yamato's pose. He was angry with himself, angry with DeiMyotismon, angry with Yamato, so damn angry that it was all he focused on; because if he stopped for one second he'd have to face his own helplessness.

Sensing their partner's intention MetalGarurumon and WarGreymon jumped away from DeiMyotismon simultaneously. MetalGarurumon cast Yamato a questioning glance and Yamato nodded slightly, MetalGarurumon's ears drooped but he stood his ground and faced DeiMyotismon.

"MetalGarurumon!"

"Wargreymon!"

The two boys shouted their partners names in unison and the two digimon were enveloped in a brilliant white light bright than the usual light of evolution. DeiMyotismon screeched and covered his eyes, the other digimon took the opportunity and each one grabbed onto him to hold him down. The light faded and Omnimon stood in all his majesty, his armour seeming to radiate light on its own. DeiMyotismon roared and fought against the digimon holding him down, Garudamon had his right arm and he jerked back hitting her in the beak knocking her back but she didn't let go. Omnimon readied his sword; his clear eyes centred on DeiMyotismon's chest, and adopted a striking pose in preparation.

Tai was momentarily stunned by Omnimon's commanding aura and formidable presence. He always was when watching the brilliant digimon fight; he brought such all-consuming power and authority to every battle, truly awe inspiring. However this time he was forced to tear his eyes away. Yamato had fallen to one knee, his knuckles white from his desperate hold on his digivice, his breathing laboured and shallow. Tai grit his teeth and glared at DeiMyotismon. He wanted to see him _pay_. Never before had he felt bloodlust, he only fought for the _fight_ not the _kill_, but this time was different. Yamato was right. Everything was different. Still the radiating anger flooding his body couldn't completely mask his despair. It couldn't stop him from trying to think of a way to save Yamato. Omnimon shifted his weight and lunged with immeasurable speed.

Time slowed down. Each second took a lifetime. Just as Omnimon lunged DeiMyotismon locked his deranged red eyes with Tai's and a strange sensation caught the brunette off guard. A pull, familiar somehow, something tugging at his soul draining him of his emotions; for that split moment his heart turned hollow, his eyes lost their light and DeiMyotismon's gleamed. With a roar so human like that it lowered the digimon's guards DeiMyotismon broke free and lunged forward heading straight for Omnimon. Omnimon waited for the last moment and jabbed forward fully expected DeiMyotismon to run into the blade.

But he didn't. Instead he passed by Omnimon so closely that he ruffled the digimon's cape and sped toward Tai and Yamato. Omnimon didn't miss a beat; he turned on his heel and gave chase. DeiMyotismon rushed forward and reached out with his right arm, his elongated claw gleaming a faint white as it plunged into Yamato's side; at the same moment Omnimon drove his sword through DeiMyotismon's back until it burst through his chest, sparks of data flying in all directions. Yamato gasped and shut his eyes against the pain he was sure would come. Only it never did. The claw had pierced his injured side but there was no blood or discomfort. He opened his eyes and stared in shock at DeiMyotismon's face.

Time resumed its steady pace and Tai breathed again. He hadn't realised he'd stopped. He fell to his knees struggling to regain his breath. He felt weak, drained, and could no longer stand. He had missed the last few moments, almost as though he had blacked out momentarily, and finally saw the shocking scene. He first noticed DeiMyotismon who was crumbling into data in front of them. Then he spotted Yamato and a completely different type of panic seized his heart.

"H…u…r…t…" DeiMyotismon choked out, the word was barely recognisable thanks to his dispersing vocal chords but both Tai and Yamato's eyes widened. DeiMyotismon's body slowly dissipated into the air as black specks of data. Yamato could barely see past his shock as he glanced at the claw running straight through his body. It didn't hurt; instead it felt warm and soothing. Slowly, as if unsure if it was the right thing to do, Yamato nodded and looked into what remained of DeiMyotismon's face.

"Yeah, I am."

The second he spoke the claw erupted into thousands of spike like threads of data that hovered in the air for a fraction of a second before plunging into Yamato's side all at once.

"Yama!" Tai screamed. He had to cover his eyes as Yamato was engulfed in the orange glow. When the light faded he quickly looked forward and could only blink in shock at what he saw. Yamato was standing lightly brushing his side in awe, his face once more full of life and colour. He quickly whipped his head up in time to see DeiMyotismon finally completely burst into data. Only unlike when other digimon dispersed something endured. The egg, it's once vibrant colour now a hollow grey, remained suspended in the air. Its data fluxed indicating it was severely unstable. Yamato hesitated for just a second before moving toward the egg.

"What are you doing?! Don't touch it!" Tai yelled.

Yamato paused and looked at him. "It's okay."

"What are you talking about? That's the thing that started this whole mess!"

"It won't hurt me."

Tai frowned and shook his head, wishing he had the strength to stand. "How can you be sure?"

The egg drifted down toward Yamato and hovered in front of him. Yamato's attention shifted back to it as sharp glowing digital writing started appearing along its surface. The digicode expanded from the egg and shot into Yamato's digivice that he still held in his hand. He looked at the screen quizzically as the code was converted into words he could understand.

"_Yama. Important. To. ME."_

Yamato blinked in disbelief. The eggs data started trembling violently as he read the last few words.

"_Remember. ME."_

Yamato found it hard to process the bizarre text but still felt a strange attachment to the dissolving data in front of him. He nodded his head and smiled at the thing. "I will."

The egg cracked, unable to keep itself together any longer it burst into data as a final piece of digicode shot from it into the digivice.

"_Thankyou. Goodbye. Yamato."_

Yamato stood shell-shocked at the message. Tai was unable to see what was going on; all he knew was that the imminent threat was gone. He could see the remaining hordes of devidramon retreating. Without a master they had no reason to continue fighting. With the knowledge came relief, but also pain and weariness. He hadn't realised he was so tired. He stared at Yamato as the blonde turned to him, he was saying something but Tai couldn't hear it. He was exhausted. Surely it would be okay to close his eyes, just for a little while? With that thought his vision slowly faded as he slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Tai's eyes shot open and he blinked in confusion at the unfamiliar ceiling. He was warm and realised he was in a bed and covered with a blanket. As he processed this new information the recent events quickly rushed back into his mind and he sat up in panic.<p>

"Yama!" He practically shouted. How could he black out when Yamato was so badly hurt?

"I'm right here. Calm down." Yamato said softly. Tai's head whirled around and he saw Yamato sitting at his bedside looking mildly amused.

"Calm down! How can I when you're dying!" Tai grunted as he grabbed Yamato's shoulder.

"Tai, I'm alright." Yamato replied.

Tai blinked at him. Then frowned; then glared at where Yamato was injured barely acknowledging he was wearing a different shirt. "But you said-"

"I didn't lie if that's what you're thinking."

Tai shook his head, his frown intensifying as Yamato smirked at him as if he knew something the brunette didn't. Without asking first Tai grabbed the hem of Yamato's shirt and yanked it up. The wound was gone. Not just healed, not just improved; completely gone. There was no trace of the purplish marks. Only the smooth, pale skin of Yamato's stomach.

"Crazy right?" Yamato said flatly.

"You're telling me! First you're dying, next you get s_tabbed_ in the middle of our fight and then suddenly you're right as rain?" Tai paused, seemingly in contemplation, then grinned up at Yamato. "Ah who cares!"

Yamato looked slightly taken aback as Tai threw his arms around him. "Isn't it great? You're finally better! I can't believe it!" Tai said giddily.

"Tai. Aren't you in pain?" Yamato said cautiously.

Tai pulled back and his smile faltered as he noticed how uncomfortable Yamato looked. He scooted back and stared at the sheets. "A little." He mumbled.

Yamato noticed and frowned. He gingerly squeezed Tai's hand and chose to stare at it instead of into Tai's questioning face. "I'm sorry. It's just…after what happened I…"

"I know." Tai said sadly. He knew he had hurt Yamato again. Even if he wasn't in control of his actions at the time it didn't mean that it was easy for Yamato to forget or forgive.

"Just give me a bit of time."

Tai grinned, though it was tinged with disappointment and uncertainty, and spoke.

"For you Yama, I have all the time in the world."

Yamato tried to suppress a laugh but couldn't, instead he laughed loudly as Tai scratched his head. "What did I say?"

"God that was so cheesy!" Yamato said after his laughter settled into a smile.

Tai went bright red and chuckled nervously. "But I thought it sounded cool…at least I got a laugh! I haven't heard you laugh in forever."

"That's because I didn't feel like laughing before. Now you be a good patient and stay put, I'll be right back."

Tai's grin fell as soon as Yamato left. He felt horribly nervous and awkward. Yamato said he needed time, but what was he referring to? Their relationship or their friendship? After what had happened Tai was completely unsure and it made even looking at Yamato difficult. He heard voices approaching and realised Yamato hadn't gone very far.

"I told you he'd be fine didn't I?" Tai heard Yamato speaking kindly as he rounded the corner with none other than Hikari running ahead of him and jumping onto Tai's bed. Tai froze in elated disbelief, his worries forgotten for now, as Hikari hugged him tightly.

"Nii-chan! Don't scare me like that." Hikari said matter-of-a-factly. Tai grinned and wrapped his arms around her.

"Look who's talking! Who told you to be all heroic huh?" Tai said happily.

"Well I trusted you to fix it." Hikari replied with a smile.

"We had to help everyone. We did our best!" Takeru interjected. Tai hadn't noticed the boy had come in at the same time as Hikari and was now sitting on Yamato's lap as Yamato had gone back to his seat beside Tai's bed.

"You sure did." Tai praised as he patted Takeru's head.

"Don't do it again though." Yamato said sternly. Takeru and Hikari both sighed and Tai laughed.

"Oh fuck, where's Sora?" Tai said suddenly.

"How nice to remember me so late, don't go spreading your potty mouth to T.K. and Hikari." Sora said jokingly as she entered. Her arm was in a sling but otherwise she was fine. "I was waiting to make my big entrance."

"Uh…sorry." Tai deadpanned.

Sora laughed and sat beside him on the bed. Hikari and T.K. started talking animatedly after that and Tai paid full attention to them not once daring to cast a glance at Yamato.

* * *

><p>"Why the visit? Angry I made it?" Hideki asked sourly.<p>

"Sure am." Tai joked. "Seriously, it's good you aren't dead."

"You don't mean that." Hideki said with a hint of condescension and joviality.

Hideki hadn't been seriously injured but was still ordered to stay in bed for a while just in case. Yukio had left him behind; apparently as soon as Tai and Yamato disappeared Yukio had taken off after them not even sparing Hideki a glance.

"How come you aren't still recovering? I heard you got shot." Hideki asked.

"I can take that question. The reason Tai has recovered so fast is because he still has residual energy from the egg residing in his body." Izzy interjected as he entered the room. "I've been looking for you Tai, I want to try and explain what happened to you. Firstly I managed to take Koromon out of his frozen state by supply him with digital energy from my digivice. Once I deciphered the text I realized that the egg must have absorbed practically all of Koromon's energy forcing him into a frozen state in order to survive. Secondly the digital world has untold effects on the human composition that I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of yet; but I believe that the reason DeiMyotismon, or more accurately his energy source the egg, was able to heal Yamato is due to the egg adapting to your composition and absorbing an understanding of the healing process and functions of humans. This is all theory of course as I wasn't there to witness the healing. As for why the egg did this I believe that as well as gaining an understanding of the biological processes the egg also started to assimilate human emotion; to put it in simpler terms you wanted to help Yamato, therefore the egg wanted the same thing."

Tai stared blankly at Izzy as he finished trying to explain, Izzy frowned when he noticed Tai was still confused.

"I don't know how else to explain it." Izzy said calmly.

"You mean Yamato was healed because this guy's feelings for him were that strong?" Hideki said absently, more to himself than the other two people in the room.

"But I don't get it! How did a clump of energized data know what I wanted?" Tai asked exasperatedly.

"I don't know how, I just think it's the most logical conclusion. Digimon are very complex." Izzy replied.

"Of course they are! I didn't mean digimon were just clumps of data! It was an egg right? An energy source? It wasn't a digimon by itself right? It was a component of Myotismon."

"Maybe it was capable of being its own digimon."

Tai's mouth fell open to protest but the words failed. Instead he knitted his brow and hummed in thought. "So maybe it started out as a separate dude and then somehow mushed into Myotismon?"

"Merged. And yes, it is possible; though I haven't heard of that happening. More importantly I think you will have trouble controlling yourself for a while."

"Eh?"

"You see the energy has no outlet. So you are still partially in a state of heightened physical attenuation to your emotional responses."

"…Come again?"

Izzy smiled and shook his head. "It means if you're feeling an emotion, say happiness, you're more likely to start jumping around then the average person."

"Ohhhhh, so if I'm sad I'll start crying even if I don't want to?"

"Exactly, and given your tendencies to physically exaggerate your emotions when you're normal it would be wise to air on the side of caution."

"I get you…I think."

"Just keep it in mind." Izzy laughed.

"He means stay out of trouble." Hideki said with a tired sigh.

"Piece of cake!" Tai said with a laugh.

…

Tai sighed and looked up admiring the oddly coloured sky of the digital world. Even at night it had a distinctly different air from earth. He closed his eyes and listened to the muffled sound of laughter and merriment echoing from within the camp. Normally he'd be in there partying with them as the life of the party. But for once he found himself with too much on his mind, plus he was worried if he got excited he might freak everyone out by jumping from table to table or something. Being calm and contemplative was a foreign feeling for him, one that was becoming more frequent as he matured.

"What a rare sight. Shouldn't you be inside?" Tai blinked as Yamato's voice broke his reverie. He leaned back and looked up at the blonde who was standing behind him.

"Maybe. What about you?"

Yamato shrugged and glanced away from Tai's questioning stare. The dim light from the points of light in the dark sky reflected off his golden bangs which, though still a rich gold, were shaded in the faint glow making them seem silken. Tai frowned and lifted his head to once again stare forward at the scenery. He forced himself to do it because every fibre of his being wanted to jump up and take Yamato into his arms. Izzy wasn't kidding when he said his emotions would try to manifest, if he looked at Yamato looking like that for any longer he wouldn't be able to control himself. Yamato might not be ready for that; he might not even want it anymore. Tai bit the inside of his cheek in anger, not at Yamato but at himself. He'd royally screwed up and had no idea how to fix it.

He drew his knee up and hugged it. He rested his chin on it and creased his brow in frustration. He heard Yamato's footsteps drawing close and screamed inwardly. His grip on his arms tightened as he heard Yamato drop to his knees behind him. His mild surprise turned to shock when Yamato rested his forehead on his back. He froze, fearful that any slight movement may startle the blonde, and dug his fingers into his bare arms nervously. He could hear Yamato's breathing and felt his face heat up.

"You've been avoiding me." Yamato said flatly after a long period of silence.

"Not really. It's been a busy few days. Besides I thought you might want some space." Tai responded, trying to sound calm.

"Liar."

Tai stiffened. He felt Yamato shift away from him. The disappointment faded immediately as a rough tug at his hair caused him to lose balance and fall onto his back. He winced and, before his mind had time to catch up, Yamato slammed his palms into the ground on either side of Tai's face and towered over him. Angry cobalt blues locked onto startled chocolate browns and Tai had to use all his will power to stay still. A twinge of guilt pricked his conscious when he spotted the darkening bruises trailing along Yamato's neck but it wasn't enough to calm the heat coiling in his gut.

"I know what this is about." Yamato practically growled.

Tai paled. "You do?"

"It's obvious. You're mad at me for being willing to die. I get it but considering all that's happened you don't have the right to be angry. _I'm _angry. How dare you judge me without having the decency to talk to me first!"

Tai's eyes widened; then became serious. "You're wrong."

Yamato was startled by Tai's sincerity and faltered. He creased his brow and waited for Tai to elaborate. Tai took a deep breath and thought carefully about his words to avoid misunderstandings.

"Alright, I was mad at the time and am still pretty pissed but I can't change the fact that you made a choice. I wasn't happy with it and will never agree that it was the right choice but it was yours to make. I'd be lying if I pretended I was okay with it. I'll never let you do it again. But it worked out so I'm not going to hold it against you, I've done basically the same thing to you time and time again so I'd be the worlds biggest jerk if I judged you for it."

Yamato raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "That's very mature of you."

"You sound surprised."

"It's because I am. You and the word mature have never been synonymous."

Tai pouted and Yamato smirked. Yamato looked thoughtful and narrowed his eyes. "Okay…then why are you avoiding me?"

"Well…I did some bad things. Horrible actually. I was scared of what you might say."

Yamato nodded and leaned in a little closer, looking thoughtful. Tai tried to focus on Yamato's eyes but found himself staring at his lips instead and the heat in his face doubled.

"I'll level with you. I was frightened of you when you saved me. I was even a bit afraid when you brought me back here…but I wasn't kidding when I said all I need is a little time. Right now I'm not scared of you at all. It's nearly gone back to being unthinkable." Yamato said softly.

Tai inwardly did flips and jumps of joy. He was so certain Yamato would never be able to feel comfortable around him yet here he was not only admitting there was a problem but also saying he'd practically conquered it. Tai twitched his fingers and lightly bit his lip. The warmth emanating from the base of his stomach made him fell dizzy and his shoulders shook lightly from the tension. Tai audibly gasped when Yamato gently placed the back of his fingers against Tai's forehead.

"Are you getting sick? You don't look so good." Yamato said. Tai tried to steady his breathing at Yamato's close proximity but found it impossible. He was trying hard to stay in control but his desires were threatening to consume him; that damn leftover energy just had to pick raw lust to pressurise!

"Shit…" Tai growled, he then reached up and tangled his fingers in the back of Yamato's hair. Yamato had enough time to blink in astonishment before Tai smashed their lips together and kissed him hungrily. He savoured the smooth, subtle sensation. Yamato stiffened and moved back but Tai held him in place. His tongue darted across, begging, pleading for entry. It took a moment and Tai nearly regained control but Yamato not only parted his lips he also crouched forward closing the small gap between their bodies.

Any small protests Tai had flew out the window. He snaked his free hand around Yamato's waist and pushed upward. Yamato moved back allowing him to get into a sitting position without breaking the kiss. He ran his fingers across Tai's chest and gripped the back of Tai's shirt. Tai's hold tightened and he deepened the kiss roughly causing Yamato to moan softly. They stayed like that for a while, fighting for dominance as their intimacy became more heated. Yamato was the first to break away, more for air than anything else, but Tai didn't let up. The second they separated he started trailing sharp, insistent kisses along Yamato's jawline practically yanking his head back by his hold on Yamato's hair for more access.

"Tai…that's enough...we're too clo-close to camp…!" Yamato managed between laboured, heated breaths.

Tai's response was to relinquish his hold on Yamato's hair to grab Yamato's thigh and slid it over his lap so Yamato was straddling him, all without stopping his descent along Yamato's neck. Yamato creased his brow in embarrassment and annoyance. His breathing hitched as Tai nipped at his pulse point killing the complaint on the tip of his tongue. Tai slipped his hand under Yamato's shirt and roamed freely across smooth skin.

Yamato couldn't speak thanks to Tai's strong hold on his waist, wandering hand and the trail of increasingly strong butterfly kisses peppering across his skin. Since words were lacking he ran his hands up Tai's neck and grabbed the wild mane that was his hair pulling him away so he could look at him. Tai's eyes were half-lidded and his breathing hard, all movement ceased as he looked up at Yamato. Yamato sighed breathlessly and rested his forearms on Tai's shoulders.

"As I was saying, we're too close to the camp. Anyone could find us here."

Tai frowned but didn't relinquish his hold Yamato's waist, instead opting to slide his free hand down and grip the blonde's backside earning himself a flustered glare from said blonde. "So if we were somewhere else?" Tai asked throatily.

Yamato blushed lightly and suddenly found it difficult to meet Tai's lustful stare. He tried to shift away but Tai's hold tightened. Tai grinned at him and he scowled.

"It-it depends!" Yamato finally replied.

"On what?" Tai teased, his hand still slowly caressing Yamato's back, stomach and chest. He'd never seen Yamato quite this flustered before.

"Location for a start!" Yamato said quickly.

"Mmmm…and?" Tai said lowly, his free hand grabbing Yamato's backside and sliding him closer as if it were the most natural thing to do in the world. Yamato's face went bright red, his scowl changing to one tinged with uncertainty.

"The mood?" Yamato mumbled.

"Mood? You seem like you're in the mood right now." Tai dared. Yamato frowned and his eyes flared indignantly.

"Don't get cocky." He huffed.

Tai grinned knowing he'd somehow outwitted the blonde. He leaned up and kissed Yamato softly before replying.

"You'll have to keep me in check. Say from now till the next millennium?"

Yamato smirked and gave Tai a deep kiss in return.

"Guess there's no helping it, idiot."


End file.
